don’t wanna get flagged for triggering ppl. lets just say i would be in the 1/10 szs who complete suicide, if i had been psychotic for more than 3 days. i might not have suffered, but self harm was imminent.
I might have killed myself if I thought the pain would go away. I believed it wouldn’t go away, however.
Jayster
Mine was somewhere near the 90% -100% range of euphoria and good feelings. It wasn’t the best, but it was pretty up there. It was so good that I tried to trigger it again for years after it happened.
i was beyond understanding that something was wrong, so disordered i wanted just to make something die. if it was me so be it.
Right @LED - well said - it isn’t a contest.
I rank mine as twice as bad as yours.
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I’m more illerer than all of you and I’ll pout my lips and stamp my feet if you don’t agree.
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This forum should not be made into a contest as to whose illness is the worst. That creates division among us. And we are a pretty united and congenial group. Let’s stay that way.
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I think I was relatively in the middle. I was partly delusional but partly able to still function and not hurt anyone including myself and remember the normal parts of my life. There were good days and bad days. Life is much better now even though those grandiose thoughts that came with my delusion and the medical school I got into are now behind me.
“Sometimes God has to break a man before he is truly useful to God.” thanks for quote Jayster
marijuana induced psychotic break on las vegas strip outside Bally’s hotel January 1, 2001. the break was severe not to mention the horrific environment I was in. I remember the synchronicity, the panic setting in as the new year was introduced.
On my wrist… in part to remember, in part to never forget
I completely agree with that. Can you private message me. I don’t know how. What does God want?
Sure - whatever - you win @77nick77.
I was kind of joking. But I can’t please everyone.
No worries @77nick77.
I can’t assign a value to it as I didn’t even know I was psychotic but either way everyone here is a survivor.
lets all just agree that when were psychotic we do some pretty effed up shyt.
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God’s will for me is to be happy, joyous, and free.
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I’d rank it about 50 its bad now but it used to be worse. I dont compare my suffering to others though. Everyone has their own plight and their own demons. I have no right to judge if they have it better or worse than me.
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some people are constantly psychotic for years, others are acute. and there are many other variables so there is no easy way of comparing us all.
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My daughter doesn’t think she is schizophrenic and refuses to look into this site. She cycles every 4 months. She lives in a house on our property and I see her everyday. She thankfully is a disabled vet so she receives meds but of course she goes off and instead takes supplements that don’t work. She is in it now. She talks to dead people. Before I go to bed I drive down to her house and look in the windows to see what she is doing. I stand far enough back to not be detected by her. She is in the early stage when she stands still for lengths of time or walks around the house having agressive conversations with the unfriendly dead people who are in clear form. I feel very sorry for her because she never seems to be aware of what is happening to her soon enough to get back on the meds. I will go into her house if I see the destruction that will come or when her cat starts hiding.
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