I should mention this… I make ice cream as a hobby. Some of my flavours are boozy. REALLY boozy. I’m told they taste great, but I don’t have firsthand knowledge of that. I know they smell okay. Alcohol is like Draino to me now. I use the stuff for jobs I need to, but I know both are poison to me. Suppose it sounds weird, but that’s how it is. I’ve got a half 26er of rum sitting in the pantry that hasn’t been touched since before X-mas when I made rum and raisin ice cream for a relative.
Not something I would recommend to someone who is just sobering up, or something I could have handled in my first five years sober. Now, it’s just something that sits in my house. The compulsion I had regarding it is completely gone.
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My delusions are believable like believing that some guy named Jesus walked on water and raised the dead but to know if they are real you just have to ask yourself is this belief a fact or is it just a belief you want to be true. I am entertained by my delusions but as long as they are just something that is wishful thinking then I can not really allow them to affect me as if they were absolute truth although that is really very difficult to do especially without having normal people around to defuse them with their normal views of reality and of course a good medication.
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I don’t understand. Could you please go further with your explanation?
Like a moth to the flame type thing. Your subconscious could be making up excuses to move you ever closer to the thing you crave that could be really bad for you.
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