Anyone been through this? Im 29, and i just now put together thats what is going on on top of rapid healing from trauma and in turn mental illness. Its kind of exhausting right now and i am having mood swings and very difficult emotions that i am allowing myself to feel for once instead of pushing them down. I also went down on my invega a couple months ago so its really hitting me.
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It feels like im picking up all the pieces in my mind and snapping things into place one by one. Each day i become more aware, more accepting of my problems, more honest with myself about who i am and who i want to be and the provlems i need to fix to get there. It makes me so over joyed but also thwre aee dark periods where i sit in my loneliness, in my endless boredom, and let myself cry for a bit. I just did that and i feel a little better.
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Do you feel that you’re in general better off with a lower dose of Invega?
I once reduced my Invega and had to up it again. I feel better on a higher dose.
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I’m 63, and I haven’t had any life crisis yet. I’ll probably wait until I’m on my death bed and have them all at once.
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Yes i do actually. There have been some rough few days that have made me question my decision but i feel i have enough coping skills to get theough those times and come out the other side just fine. Beaides these difficult emotions i dont really have a lot of symptoms invega can help anymore so im working on coming off of it incredibly slowly. Its wrecking havoc on my body. My bloodwork was a disaster.
@shutterbug that was a really good song thank you
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50 is the big one for me. That’s half a century! I’m 44 now.
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I’m 29 too. You’re farther ahead than I am. I’m still in denial about my illness, but I’m realizing that I have to start taking proactive steps to make my life better or I will be filled with regret about not doing enough 10 years from now. Keep at your recovery, you sound like you’re doing well.
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I feel like 24-29 is a weird time for lots of people, because your prefrontal cortex becomes fully developed around then, and it smacks you in the face with self-awareness and perspective about how many stupid things you have done in your life, and all the ways you ignored advice of others and hurt them unintentionally. And since you can now think things through more easily, you get more anxiety over things that you used to jump into fearlessly.
My quarter life crisis was spent trying to dig myself out of the massive pit I had dug for myself. Got really serious about therapy, made up with people I had fallen out with, cut ties with people who were using me, started confronting my chronic fear of planning things in advance, etc. It was bad, in that I started relating to the parents in Disney movies, and I felt like I was losing a part of myself. It was good, in that I was able to form my life into something I actively enjoyed.
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@Moon, as difficult as that sounds, I’m happy for you that you’re allowing yourself to feel again and work through those issues. I’m in a therapy program myself right now that’s very intensive and so I know how hard and exhausting it is. Hang in there and keep going the way you are . It’s worth it.
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Going from a life of working to a life on disability caused me to be in crisis mode. From symptoms to just not knowing what to expect and want out of life. Not abled to control this with schizophrenia makes it worst of a crisis imo.
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I relate to so much of this post, @Ninjastar. The very end of my twenties were spent doing some self reflection, and at the time I thought my efforts to improve my life and to do some “spring cleaning” in my brain amounted to nothing. I’m 31 next month, and I can finally start to see the fruits of my labor for the past two or three years. In some ways that was a more awkward time for me than puberty. The self-awareness thing was tough. I realized a lot about myself, and a lot about the people I had in my life. Some had to go because we were in a constant cycle of enabling each other to be stuck in the same spot. I tightened my bond with others who bring value to my life and I bring value to their life.
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Yeah, it was for me. Those were roughly the ages I was addicted to crack. So if your theory is correct not only did schizophrenia screw me at age 19 when I was in the hospital when I should have been out finding my place in the world but then from age 25-29 crack screwed me, and I never learned the stuff you said. Jeeez, it’s a miracle that I ended up the wonderful, well adjusted, level headed guy I am today.
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