Because, for awhile, I don’t think I knew what I was doing. So punishing myself, right or wrong, got to be a way. Now, I’m worn out from it.
I dont think you should be punishing yourself. If you decide you have done something wrong accept that and move on trying not to do the wrong thing again.
I’m saying that I’m usually numb if that makes sense. So punishment affirms me.
Having schizophrenia isn’t enough punishment for you?
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What do u mean by affirms? You should be kind to yourself.
I’m very similar. When I was growing up I somehow got the message that “if I punish myself no one else will punish me”. It works most of the time.
If I don’t feel pain, I don’t know I exist.
Thats really makes me sad. I hope you can speak to someone like pdoc or therapist and get a new way to feel you exist.
scapegoats have a purpose.
Are you a saint @PinCushion?
No, but if you’re a sin searcher you probably won’t get anything out of me. I don’t like confessing unless it’s my idea.
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You’ve been on here a long time but no one knows how to relate to you. Do you read by example or not on the forum?
A lot of times you can look at things.with a lighter piece of mind.
I don’t know what you mean by reading “by example”.
I feel that some of the people on the forum relate to me effectively. Is this a problem with you? I’m older and can’t keep all you kids straight in my mind so I don’t know you as well as you know each other. That I can’t really do much about unless I keep a written record when I find out information about you. I might try that.
I relate to you @PinCushion! I like your posts.
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please don’t. Nor harm no foul on revealing, it just means you must make amends and never do, you hold things over everyone’s heads.
I just meant keeping a record of vital statistics like age, sex, living situation and marital status just to help me know where you’re coming from a little.
@PinCushion this has nothing to do with this conversation, but I thought of you the other day when I saw this article about Anne Lamott getting married last week.
I remembered that you liked her.
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming…
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