So, I said before that my PTSD problems are getting worse. My doctors think it’s just a reaction to all the stress in my life, and it will resolve on its own. But in the meantime, I’m having a problem.
I am finding it almost impossible to allow Mr. Star to touch me in any kind of sexual way. We have always had a very healthy sex life, but since late August, I’ve been really struggling. We have had sex maybe five times since then, which is practically nothing for us. He is really cool about it, and doesn’t pressure me at all. But I still feel bad about it. Does anyone have any tips for tolerating physical intimacy better? My usual tricks don’t seem to be working, and when I try to just push through the discomfort, I think I make it even worse. I can still touch him with no problem, so that’s something at least, but I just really miss enjoyable sex.
I did join a women’s trauma support group, but that doesn’t start until the 25th, and I’d like to be more proactive than that.
I have the same issue due to being raped. Longer foreplay with no sexual intimacy may be helpful, and guiding Mr. Star as to sexual intimacy may also be helpful because it will prevent any subservient feelings.
Thanks. I have been trying that, and it usually works great, but for some reason I’m still feeling triggered lately, even when I put his hands there and he doesn’t even move them.
Maybe you can talk to a therapist about this? I know you recently moved, so that will make anyone’s adrenaline flow. Now that the move is done, your body may be recuperating (for lack of a better word).
That is exactly what my therapist says. He says I need to become more comfortable with the idea that recovery isn’t a straight path, and I will always have good times and bad times. I’m not a fan of the idea of just waiting for the problem to resolve itself, though. I just want to fix it already. I’m sick of feeling damaged all the time. I want to be back to full ass-kicking mode. Maybe patience really is the key, though.
With deal of my own sexual trauma I wish I could give you a DIY kind of advice but I’m found wanting in that area. I think patience is your best ally and since Mr. Ninjastar is ok with it that is your best bet.
On a side note why ninjastar? How about karatestar? Or Jeetkundostar? Or judostar? Or Brazilianjiujitsustar? Just curious.
Considering that my last relationship failed when things started getting too physically intimate (not even sex yet!) and that resulted in me completely avoiding relationships and men to this day 5 years later, I’m not sure if my advice will be helpful to you, but I know for me what helped with improving my tolerance to just plain physical touch is by allowing myself to be hugged a lot, get massages, etc and have touch that did NOT lead to sexual activities. Gradually my body stopped setting off alarms every time I was touched and now it just makes me uncomfortable rather than causing me extreme anxiety and even flashbacks.
So I think if your ptsd is acting up now (I really hate when that happens, you can feel like you’re totally healed and all is well and then it will just flare up out of nowhere) maybe focus more on non sexual physical intimacy first to remind your body that you have control now over whether the touch will progress to something sexual or not.
this might be too pragmatic of an answer but make sure you’re eyes are open and you’re not dissociating if you do have sex. If you feel at any time that you’re slipping out of the present moment stop it and come back to it later. Mr Star should be informed of need to stop at anytime of course. If you are feeling the least bit anxious just stop and come back to it later. There always plenty of time for sex later, but if you have any bad experience with Mr star it could damage your relationship terribly, and that takes a lot of time to heal from. So definitely be proactive and I think you’re right about patience.
What I would do is simply think of engaging in sex and observe your thoughts and feelings after imagining the engagement. Find the thoughts and feelings that are getting in the way and rationalize them out.
You’re probably overthinking it and being too uptight.
I want to mention that, after taking one year of Geodon, when I went down my dose from 80 to 40 in the mornings, I suddenly got PTSD too. I got PTSD from first time psychosis and it hit me hard suddenly.
Two years forward I am still recovering from it.
I remember you changed your dose from evening to morning during that time. Could that be the trigger?
Something worth considering. I think @AmateurUnlicensedQuack also had a similar problem from this same medication.
