Being afraid

DX'd - Other
1

TW.

I always hated how I had to do it for him.

I loved him, but I was still scared.

My ex-boyfriend was sexually attracted to me, he said. We were in a small room, and he decided that it was a good idea to touch my breasts without asking me. Then he decided to touch my genitals because he loved me. He said he loved me. I loved him, too. After that day, he gave me a ride to the train station.

But I wanted to please him, so I kept doing what he wanted. I never really liked it, though. Also, it was against my religion.

Every time I came to his house, he always wanted to touch my genitals. He always had to press himself against me. He begged me to do sexual stuff with him.

He still did support me through my schizophrenia, which I am so grateful. Also I broke him, so maybe I deserve the violation.

I feel like I’m blaming an innocent person now. But what I went through with him was so painful.

Now I’m afraid of sexual things. It scares me now.

Please delete if this post is not allowed

2

I feel uncomfortable with sexual acts too.
I don’t know why

3

Same.

■■■■, I just feel like I blamed an innocent person now.

4

It’s not your fault. Did he pretend that he loves you in order to get sex?

5

Hi Hope your doing fine, sounds like a sign of PTSD have you tried to give it a while before entering any new relationships, and you might be open to other things. This could be dealt wil be talking it over with a psychologist not a psychiatrist as they will put you unnecessary on toxic drugs when you are just going through lessons in life.

6

It seems like he genuinely loved me, but he was really interested in sex and things like that. He just wanted to do it whenever he wanted to see me.

7

I haven’t dated in 3 years. I’m just afraid of new things and hurting people.

8

I think it’s normal for couples to have sex.

9

I guess so. The thing is I never wanted it, but he would force me to do it.

Can someone close this thread? I’m panicking @Ninjastar @anon4362788