I feel like my OCD and my psychosis sometimes go hand in hand…? I’m not really sure what I even mean by that and I’m really bad at explaining stuff, but I’ll try my best:
My doctor said I am experiencing ‘delusions of reference’, but I’m actually sometimes wondering if it is ‘delusions of reference’ or if it is an OCD-symptom (I’m psychotic according to my doctor and I’m also diagnosed with OCD).
So, for example, let’s say it’s a coincidence that I am the 13th one who comments on a thread here. I hate the number 13, mainly because of the superstition that comes with the number 13. So I get a lot of unwanted thoughts that it’s a sign, or a secret message. I get thoughts like “I’m the 13th one who commented here, so that means that something really bad is going to happen in 13 days”.
Another example is that my mum told me I was born around the 13:00-time (military time, or, 1pm. But she said 13:00), on a sunday. So my thoughts goes: “I was born at 13:00, which includes 13, that means that my life is going to be full of misfortune. If I look back at my life, it’s mostly been full of bad luck and therefore, since I was born at 13:00, it was known all along that my life is going to be full of bad luck and misfortune, as long as I live”.
Even though my life hasn’t been the best, as of yet, it might just have been a coincidence that life has been treating me bad. And not because of me being born at 13:00. But I still so strongly believe that it is because I was born at 13:00 and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress.
Okay, the explainations got longer than I planned.
I hope someone reads this and perhaps have an answer to this question: is this an OCD symptom or is it included in ‘ideas/delusions of reference’?
I don’t really get how doctors are swift to label you as delusional when you’ve had an unfortunate life and consequently were born @1 pm. It’s not delusional if your life really sucks, it’s coincidental.
I suffer with both, OCD and psychosis.
If you suffer with both, they will often intertwine or blend in together.
When I become psychotic my Obsessions will flare up as well.
What you are describing sounds like OCD type thinking.
Are you treating your OCD with medications?
Antidepressants can sometimes help.
I suffer from both as well! And yes, I am treated for my OCD with antidepressants. I also went to CBT two years ago, which helped for a while, until my OCD-symptoms came back.
I’m not diagnosed with OCD, but I feel I have strong tendency’s towards it. I have to keep things in a certain spot, or it’s not right and I can’t take my mind off of it until I pick it up and put it where I think it should be. Like for example: I like to read a lot before bed, my Kindle I don’t mind keeping on the other side of my full sized bed, because with my Cpap machine I don’t really move around that much any more, so it’s fine sitting there. However if I have a hard back copy of a book like I’m reading right now (the hard-back version of Insurgent b Veronica Roth) I can’t stand letting it sit on the bed while I sleep. It has to sit on the floor. I have my reasons. I’m worried leaving it on the bed with blankets I might ruffle up the pages and have them get bent or torn.
Or if I’m doing my dishes at night I count my silverware. Usually it’s me, mom, and dad that eat dinner. So I can assume to wash 3 knives, 3 forks, and 3 regular sized spoons. Sometimes though we don’t always use all three pieces of silverware and mom who helps me move the dishes from the dining room to the kitchen will put away the unused pieces and that really throws me off because I’m expecting to wash three sets of silverware. I end up going into the dining room to make sure nothing was left behind. I stop and recount my dishes. I can’t wrap around that okay we didn’t use all three pieces (i.e. if we ate some finger foods or something). Yes I’m happy I don’t have the extra dishes to wash but it doesn’t sit right with me the rest of the night.
With regards to the number 13…it could be a trigger number for your psychosis, yes. I myself hate the number 6, especially 666 because of the reference to the devil…or mark of the beast as it’s referred to in revelations. I avoid 666 as much as possible. I don’t know why it just makes me uncomfortable. It’s just a number I know, but I get chills when I see it, or use it for anything. The whole number thing reminds me of this movie staring Natalie Portman called Where The Heart Is…she hates the number 5 in that movie. At one point she’s living in a Walmart and is about to have a baby and refuses to have it in isle 5. Bad things always happen to her on day 5 on every month…it reminds me of your story.
Yes though OCD issues can be linked with psychosis because anything can trigger symptoms. It’s different for each of us in what trigger’s our symptoms.
You seem to suffer from some form of anxiety. OCD is an anxiety disorder and is triggered by stress. I think you should talk to a doctor about your anxiety. To me, your anxiety does resemble OCD-symptoms, quite a lot.
I did some research and it’s quite common for people with psychosis or psychotic disorders to also suffer from OCD.
There is a time on the clock that spurs a secret message that I am going to hell and I see the number all the time on the clock so I pray for my salvation. It has to do with an abortion I agreed to when I was younger.
