I’m not exactly sure when this all happened, but it was around the end it middle of February where I started feeling as if I was in a dream and that everything was fake and I would forget what day it was or where I was I can’t recall what I was doing during that time and at some points I didn’t feel like myself it was like watching myself through some kind of film. Last week or so, I had the feeling that I had two feet on my left foot, another night I felt as if my eyes we’re backwards, and another time I was going back to bed and I seen my shadow and the fact part of it was missing and I then felt as if my face was missing as well and believed that my own shadow was what I looked like not only that but ever since I was a kid I’ve had this feeling that my body and surroundings are distorting. And when I’m sleeping I have these nightmares and before I go to bed or wake up I’ll hear these voices saying that I should die and everyone hates me and then I have these scary visual images behind my eyes, I’m not sure if it is psychosis or dissociation, but it is very scary. As soon as this all blows over I should be able to see a psychiatrist and discuss everything that has happened.
It sounds like a combination of disassociation and psychosis.
I had dissociation as part of my psychosis. The world looked and felt surreal, the world distorted and things looked really vibrant or really dull and dim. I would see colors and patterns moving on the walls, afterimages of things that shouldn’t have had afterimages, or of things that I hadn’t seen. In the dark, I saw shadows encroaching into my field of vision. I confused things that were present in my thoughts with things that were outside my head, images and such, and most of all, I had thoughts that would be in my head talking that didn’t feel like my own, telling me things. The combination of all of these symptoms, combined with obsessiveness, anxiety, and more vivid auditory and visual hallucinations, resulted in some really disordered and delusional thinking that landed me with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.
I’m telling you all of this because of this troubling sentence right here:
It’s very possible that your symptoms are the result of anxiety and that there’s nothing else going on. HOWEVER, there’s also the chance that this is the beginning of some sort of psychotic disorder, in which case it won’t just “blow over.” The best thing you can do for yourself is to seek help now while you still have insight, some inkling that something’s not quite right. I wish you well.
I’m talking about when I’ll be able to see the doctor since right now they aren’t allowing it. I was suppose to but they just cancelled it
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