I think I’ve told you this one before, but it’s worth a repeat. During one Psyche Ward stay, the chef downstairs made…
Meat Lasagna
I was so messed up, I broke that word down into the following acrynom…
Me At Las Angeles Screen Actors Guild Not Applicable
And I was convinced the chef downstairs was mocking me…like I was a terrible actor faking an illness or something.
Post one of your own funny delusions. 
i don’t feel much like laughing @PatrickT are you safe?
During another Hospital stay, my nurse had a tattoo on her arm. There was a plane flying by over the building so I turned to my brother and said…
“Don’t you get it? Zee plane! Zee plane!..the tattoo!..The whole World thinks this Mental Ward is my Fantasy Island!!”
Bro just said “oh man!” and gave me a hug.
I’m getting better. I’d say I’m almost out of the delusion. I’m just using some humour and music to fight back against this beast of an affliction.
During another Hospital stay…
Brother: “You’ve made all of the right moves, Pat. The whole family is proud of you”
Me: “Yeah. I’ve mad all the right moves. That’s why I’m sitting here in a blue nightgown talking to you in a Mental Hospital”
Then we both burst out laughing. 
i was given a deal that i would live forever if i slept with this guy cos we had the same energy that needed to be united.
My life…
… dont you forget.
Bluuurrrrr. Delusions aren’t too fun… misinterpretations are alright. Had a laugh a both I must say.
I say Dana Carvey reporting the news once… apparently Gerald ford died at the ripe old aga of seventy-three…
I don’t know if this is funny, but I believed my brother in law surgically planted cameras in my cat’s head to record me. So every time my cat stared at me, I froze in fear of being recorded on the toilet or in the shower.
When I was 7 I was in elementary school and i really had to use the bathroom.
So some older kids tried to scare me saying that the bathroom had a ghost in it that would steal your soul 
oooh spooky
and I was terrified because i 100% believed them but I used the bathroom anyways.
I ended up thinking that I was the ghost/possessed by the ghost and I then proceeded to try and steal all the big kids souls to the point I thought I had to bite them and suck their souls out kinda like a vampire.
Lol everyone was so weirded out. And after a stern talk from my parents I thought I couldn’t be possessed anymore cause my parents must have scared the ghost away. Cause they scared me even more than the ghost did lol.
I was scared at the time but it’s funny now
I thought I wasn’t sane. 
When I was really out of it at the hospital, I asked a staff member if anything would happen if I ate an apple since I associated it with the forbidden fruit from the creation story (my delusion was heavily religion-influenced).
None of my delusions ever seemed funny to me. They were mostly scary.
I had a marshmallow in my head that someone used to telepathically enter my brain.
When I was a kid, I believed I had escaped from a government prison for child assassins, and they were looking for me by scanning for a scar on the back of my hand. Every passing car and toll booth was capable of scanning, and the only way to hide from them was to place a pink Starburst wrapper over my hand to confuse their sensors. So I would walk around school with Starburst wrappers taped to the back of my hand, and everyone was baffled by me.
This isn’t a delusion, but when I was a teenager they tried putting me on antidepressants. They made me super manic and I landed right back in the hospital again. They had no beds, so they put me in the padded room. Well, don’t ask me how I did it, but Manic Ninjastar managed to climb the padding all the way to the ceiling. When the nurse came in to check on me, I jumped down and shouted, “BATMAN!!!”
Was this her reaction?
BAHAHAHAHAHA
I don’t even remember. I was so out of it.
I do stuff like that to people all the time just walking down the hall not even meaning to. I’ll walk behind some old lady, not knowing I’m there, it’s all silent, I’ll say “HEY! How’s it going?” And they jump and scream every time lol
That’s not very nice. What if you gave some old lady a heart attack by scaring her?