Hello, first off is that I’m new here. I joined in hopes of finding some answers and/or suggestions on what to do. I am 17 right now, 18 as of September 2nd
Anyway, about 5-6 years ago this all began (yes its been a really long time and it is a super-risk)
At that time I had been super paranoid, had anxiety, occasional voices and hallucinations would occur as well. It randomly ceased for a few years and had just shown back up about a year or two ago. I never thought anything of it being raised from a super religious point of view I had always thought I was just experiencing things from the other side. I now realize I am probably wrong.
I can still recall what I believe was a first episode, which involved me screaming and whining for it to stop. At the time I was hearing things that weren’t there, including voices. I was under the impression the government had gotten into my mind. At one point I hit the floor screaming “Get out of my head!”
Its been years and I still get the shakes recalling that incident, it was so bad.
(I’d like to add that my mother also had problems with voices for a while)
After that incident the voices kept hitting harder and harder, along with severe hallucinations. A recent experience I had was that I woke up and seen people sitting at the table in the kitchen. My bed was in the living room. One of the people there was standing up, he lunged at me. I yelped and it all disappeared. That moment felt as if it were some sort of cutscene.
I also seen a fully bodied shadow person,twice. Once it passed me in the school hallway, another time it walked across the yard and disappeared at the trash pile I was walking towards. For some reason I had thought it was normal and went on with my day.
I also got a recurring face, twice. One time it popped up in a window and another time it was trying to talk to me while in school.
The shadow people and faces all happened around the first (what I believe) episode. After about a year or two of dealing with the hallucinations and voices it had randomly toned down a whole lot. Almost non-existent. It then popped back up, I was then under the delusion that I was an angel sent from heaven to try and save some people who didn’t believe. After a while people became concerned and brought up the possibility of Schizophrenia. I ignored them and kept on for a while longer, I then finally came to my senses that something had gone horribly wrong and started researching. I talked to a psychiatrist and he said it was a high possibility. I never got a diagnoses.
I researched into it and finally managed to bring myself to want to acquire more help. The voices have been getting worse and I can no longer believe what I see or hear. People have pointed out that my voice had become barren and face became emotionless. I hadn’t noticed until they had pointed it out.
I have also been having a major distrust of hospitals. Thanks to that I am now walking on a detached pinky toe and have a crooked finger. Due to my belief of my toothbrush being poisoned I had quit brushing my teeth, now I’ll probably get a few pulled.
I’ve managed to regain my mind just enough to realize this but I’m afraid I may have waited way too long.
What do you guys think? (If you wish for additional information feel free to ask)