Okay I am going to be talking about the past. No games here but anyways I like to play games I don’t really think I am having schizophrenia anymore. I think at the beginning when I just kept making the game harder by adding more complex rules to it, I didn’t think there was any alternative. But now when I start playing these mind games I most always know my way out. It’s like I’m not even playing anymore. Idk is it normal to play games? I looked up game theory and I think it might be useful. It feels helpful but is it productive and more importantly is it psychosis or is it too easy to be psychosis? Idk my life is complicated but I don’t know if it’s that complicated…
Well I guess I have one question and I’ll answer the second question with your help.
Here is it: Do you play boring games to make things exciting?
I think I already know the answer but for some reason I want to hear from you guys and gals for me.
what types of games. i play ocd games all the time. schizophrenic games? sometimes i do weird thinking things in my head. but im not sure if its games
lots of games as long as it creates the most damage, hopefully irreversible damage as possible. Idk I just wanna be as close to myself (voices) as possible. It’s mostly a game of staying yourself as long as possible like a perfection game but there are a lot other little games. Idk the deeper you focus inwards the more games you find and the littler more specific tasks they become. Part of the perfection game was to keep the whole world synchronized and soon my reality was stuck there, it was a habit, an addiction, very boring and tedious. I came to the conclusion of why the world was so synced not because I made it that way, but rather because everyone could read my mind. And when I am playing those games that is the main basis of the game that is what keeps it (me) alive.
I dislike being the unwilling participant in games that only complicates life.
What’s the point? Training?
i need real things to do,
i can’t play stupid games anymore (no offence)
i just think i am passed that stage now and i need something more real to do with my time.
same with tv, i think i have grown out of it,
yeah somethings i just need to live with Idk maybe I don’t idk I dont know what to do i really need someone who gets it idk i thought you guys were the only ones but i lied.