Personal/ antisocial issues?

Since I’m taking the antipsychotic and I’m healthy again, I went back to university and after that I started working (since 2015 now). Both at university and at my job I had many friends but they never became personal friends despite I’m trying really hard to be appreciated. For example, after university, I was always the one who sent messages to my friends to try to see them and to maintain the contact, but they were not so much interested, so now we don’t talk to each other anymore.

It’s the same at my job. I often go see a colleague to chat. They are usually surprised and they only answer politely. They don’t seem to be so much interested. And since I’m working for this company (almost 2 years now), it happened only one time that a colleague came to see me to chat.( ?!?!?!?!)

I don’t really understand why it doesn’t work since I’m doing so much effort. Something must be wrong with me. During all my life, I always used to make friends easily but I have had very few personal friends. People just don’t seem to be interested in me. I’m thinking a lot about that to find out what the problem is and I can’t explain it because it seems to me that I’m an interesting and friendly person.

I’m usually the kind of person who is a lot interested in others, asking them a lot of questions about them, but I’m not so much comfortable to talk about me. Maybe it’s because of that.

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sorry @anubis

Once I was going dancing and I had a colleague who I knew liked to dance, so I said, do you want to join us? She agreed and then all of us started planning outings. Then I asked if I could add her on Facebook, so we can plan and stay in touch, she was happy. Sometimes I make friends because I find them different and interesting too, not necessarily similar to me.

Do you have any hobbies? Maybe ask someone to go watch a game with you someday. Not sure how guys are really :smile: or throw a house party ?! Are you young?

I’m 39. Most people of my age here have a family and children and they have their own social network since a long time. So because of that, I think that they don’t feel the need to have a new personal friend in their life, and maybe this is why they don’t seem interested in me.

I’m not typical at all. I have lost completely my social network because I have been sick for 12 years. Normally, I should not be lonely at my age. So I don’t fit with people who have my age.

And people at my job usually stay in front of their computer during all the day and they don’t talk to others so much. So I’m one of the few who go chat with people.

My university friends and some of my colleagues are Facebook friends and I often send them messages but they never do the same and they answer without so much interest.

What about you? Are young since you made friends without so much problem? It seems to me that it’s easier to make friends when we are a child or a teen.

Because I don’t feel so much interest from the others, I don’t feel I could ask them to go watch a game or something like that. I don’t know if I’m wrong… Could I do that if they don’t even seem interested when I go chat with them?

really 12 years?! what happened to you?! I got sick in 2010 and took me 1 year to get sane then 2 years to find myself. And it was pretty severe.

I am not a teen :unamused: but maybe for girls it is easier, who knows. My close friends I know them through mutual friends, from 6 years ago and some from another country. other friends i see 15 times a year are my colleagues I met through work.

You do not have family / cousins / etc? Do you look ill ?

@anubis I’m just about the same age as you and I too have lost a lot of friends. But I think certain stages of a person life changes as they get older. When your in your early 20’s it’s time to learn s much as you can and memorise it. By the time you’re 30, you’re supposed to find a stable job and income and have a place of your own and a car. By 35, get married and have kids.

Just my point of view.

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I have been sick for 12 years because I had severe physical symptoms also due to the mental illness. This is what is very special about my case. Because of that, the doctors was thinking that I was having a physical illness during the first year. During the second year, they began to think that I was having a mental illness, but instead of treating me, they decided to give up. It took an additional 10 years just to find a doctor (psychiatrist) who was really wanting to help me. It was really discouraging and frustrating.

I have 2 brothers and 1 sister. I don’t see my cousins anymore.

And I don’t look ill at all. It’s the opposite, I look very well, I’m good looking, I’m not overweight and I look 10 years younger than my actual age. Well this is what I am told.

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It is weird to hear that. The docs could not figure out you are mentally ill? does not make sense to me.

The people around you, at least, should’ve knows in the 2nd 3rd year if you really have an illness… esp since you were like 28-30 years old at the time?

I became sick in 2000 and in 2005 I saw a psychiatrist for the first time and he tried to convince me that there was nothing to do to help me, that it was hopeless and that the science of medication was not enough advanced to help me. It was really strange to hear that.

But the problem here in Canada is that the health system is public. So you only have one medical record which is available to all the doctors in your province. After I saw the psychiatrist, all the other doctors were saying the same to me as him: it’s hopeless. They were only repeating what was written in my medical record by the psychiatrist. So from 2005 to 2013, I have not been helped at all.

Because the health system is public, it was impossible for me the get a second opinion. I even thought about going see a doctor in USA but I had not enough money for that. I was cured in 2013 only because I finally met a psychiatrist who decided to not follow what was written in my medical record and to make her own opinion.

I don’t want to complain but it was really difficult and frustrating, you don’t even imagine how much. It was a nightmare.

Im trying to remember, but didnt you have psychosomatic pains or something?

Yes I had severe physical symptoms caused by the mental illness. All the physical symptoms completely disappeared with the antipsychotic. The only thing I was needing was a small dosage of antipsychotic and it took 13 years before having that.

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None of y’all are hunters I presume? Not even intrested in the sport (I hope), but it should be of interest to know, if you want something, you have to “Get” it- get it?

If you go fishing for example, you are hungry and want a fish for dinner, so you go to the banks of a river and stand there with your arms outstretched waiting for a fat fishy to jump right in.

After a few hours of empty hands, you might decide to figure out a different way to ‘attract’ a fishy…maybe not and you sit there crying, empty handed.

It gets dark and you decide to go to McDonalds for a ‘Fishwich’ instead.

Next day repeat. Maybe today you stand closer to the water and beg the fishies a little louder. Maybe one will jump up into your frying pan you hold outstretched for the occasion.
Maybe not.

One day someone comes along and laughs at you. You want to give up and go home, but as the person sticks a ew gross worm on a sharp hook attached to a long line on a pole and flings it way out there, and within minutes, pulls up a giant fat catfish Mmmmmmmm, and your hooked.
Not literally of course, but this time, you see what needs to be done.

So you return the next day with a pole, some line, and some fresh fat worms from your side yard.
You hook the worm, sink the line and reel in an old tire instead.
Thank goodness you brought the thick sliced Texas toast to slap on top that fat tire, and with a little mayo and tomato, voila!
A nice thick sammich.
You go home with a gut ache from eating too much rubber sammich, but it feels good to finally understand how to fish.
Morale of the story?

Don’t write stories if your DX’d SZ.

Thank you my friend.
Please come again, exit is to the rear door.

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okay, one more not by me: