Since I’m taking the antipsychotic and I’m healthy again, I went back to university and after that I started working (since 2015 now). Both at university and at my job I had many friends but they never became personal friends despite I’m trying really hard to be appreciated. For example, after university, I was always the one who sent messages to my friends to try to see them and to maintain the contact, but they were not so much interested, so now we don’t talk to each other anymore.
It’s the same at my job. I often go see a colleague to chat. They are usually surprised and they only answer politely. They don’t seem to be so much interested. And since I’m working for this company (almost 2 years now), it happened only one time that a colleague came to see me to chat.( ?!?!?!?!)
I don’t really understand why it doesn’t work since I’m doing so much effort. Something must be wrong with me. During all my life, I always used to make friends easily but I have had very few personal friends. People just don’t seem to be interested in me. I’m thinking a lot about that to find out what the problem is and I can’t explain it because it seems to me that I’m an interesting and friendly person.
I’m usually the kind of person who is a lot interested in others, asking them a lot of questions about them, but I’m not so much comfortable to talk about me. Maybe it’s because of that.