Everyone knows there is “victim ptsd”. Is there such a thing in psychiatry as “perpetrator ptsd” though? Let me explain.
I was sexually abused as a kid. I struggled with all sorts of issues because of that. But the perpetrator struggles as well. Especially since i opened up, he is unwell. From what i heard he struggles with guilt and depression to the point of it ruining his marriage and him wanting suicide. I feel sorry for him.
I myself too, struggle way way way more with the things I did wrong to (myself or) others, than the things others did wrong to me.
Nobody ever talks to me about it, but is there such a thing as “perpetrator ptsd”? It might be a delicate issue, but can an abuser be traumatised by the abuse to? Does anyone struggle with such issues? What would help for that?
Never heard of it, but in the case of rapists I want them to die quickly!
I hate those ■■■■■■■■, I wish they could be raped with violence. See if they like it and if they are whores or something similar…
I don’t have any pity for them, I hate them to death
It’s not that hard work for a couple a months and pay for a hooker to satisfy their needs…
Ah, thanks. No, never googled it or really explicitly thought or talked about it beyond “I did x and now i feel horrible and evil and have nightmares” and other people trying to tell me it wasnt that bad. When i was screened and treated for ptsd all they ever asked about were victims experiences. Not wrongdoings.
I personally believe my abusers shouldnt suffer forever or die. It might be odd, but i wish they feel guilty and bad, then change their lives, offer apologies and live good and fulfilling lives after that. I have moments of anger too, but overall it makes me sad if they suffer.
Feeling sad because your actions have consequences is very different from being traumatized because somebody hurt you. Perpetrators of violent crimes should feel bad, because they caused horrible things to happen to people.
Frequently, I’ve seen where an abuser gets sad and complains that nobody loves them, they’re a horrible person, nothing they do matters, etc. This is a tactic deliberately designed to shift focus away from the fact that they hurt you, and onto the fact that they feel sad. Their feelings do not and should not matter in the context of why they hurt you, or whether you want them back in your life.
The abuser has the option to respect your feelings and your pain, and your right to express it however you need to in order to move forward. Instead, he is choosing to focus on his feelings and his pain, and trying to make them your responsibility. That is never going to lead to him learning to be a better person. That will only lead to him learning that he can hurt you, then cry, and still get the emotional catharsis that he wants without doing any of the work required to earn it.
