My grandmother, my father (both passed) both had a psychotic disorder. It’s where I got it from.
All of us lived with the thought other people didn’t like us or treated badly on purpose, took advantage… Seems like it’s a common occurrence or delusion.
Do you get that?
Its like the major part of my delusional narrative. People dont like me because of my past and my horrible intrusive thoughts.
Im trying a little to follow thich nhat hanh but its really very hard. My natural character is very different than what he teaches
Following the path you’re on is a good one. I do something similar and feel it helps.
I recently started rhythmic breathing, slowly in and out. It is relaxing when I’m going slow, but hard to tell when things get over the top.
Oh, I have made sure that a number of my wife’s relatives do NOT like me and NEVER want to see me again by mortally offending them. Makes my long weekends and summer holidays more tolerable if I don’t ever have to spend time with them. I can’t recommend it enough.
Offline, as opposed to online, I’ve never been a popular person. I was probably the most unpopular pupil in my public school’s then 406-411 year history. I do comparatively better online, but have never had many forum friends. Those who pm me. I fare better with those who are very intelligent or those near the opposite end of the bell curve than I do with the 68% in the middle.
Somehow I managed to find a partner and was with her 22 years,married 18 years. We were parted by death not divorce. I may not have any friends, but I have a chosen family that has shown me far more love and affection than my birth family, and other close relatives have.
To want to be liked by everyone is an absurd wish, and one that could never come true.
But to want to be loved by your parents / siblings is a very reasonable attitude.
I get good vibes off people I deal with the last six or so months
It’s really helped me fight the thoughts that try and pull me under to see people actually smile at me and don’t seem like my presence is taxing on them
Being disliked sucks but needing to work hard to impress others sucks the same
People don’t like me, but I don’t think about it too much they won’t pay me if they like or not. There is no reward in someone liking me. But yes believing in subconscious mind that it’s a delusion will take you places that you have never expected. In fact everyone hates everyone. Only things we stay in groups or as a social beings we heavily rely on each other. Its not because we like each other.
If you love someone will you sacrifice your life ? Then that someone you can like.
My delusion was I am the god who is going to save everyone. But hey who said people needs to be saved they are already saved the person who needs to be saved is me.
Is it funny I have sz and I am trying to save the entire world with my micro actions.