Today some hours ago I had an episode of paranoia which was more intense than the usual thoughts that people are talking about me or yelling.
While I was walking from the neighborhood to go to the super market I saw a group of children playing and one of them whisper something to his friend while I was passing…
after a while I saw two other boys say something to each other whispering when I was passing them.
I think that it was a coincidence because I know this feeling of paranoia.
1)Some triggers my stress levels. (maybe that I was searching for employment things on the net)
2)Low self esteem makes me feel uncomfortable between kids. They scare me because they are joyful,loud and energetic and I feel numb and dead inside with a mind blocked and this causes me a strange feeling through childhood like I am not having a self and defence mechanisms.
3)The paranoia spreads in my point of view and I have the thought that the people might know something about my sexual life like that I masturbate or that I am crazy. It causes me shyness and fear.
So I think that it was an episode and something that it has to do with some automatic thoughts when something triggers it.
What do you do with that. I am in remission 3 years now and that was a more intense feeling of paranoia.
Should I be worry for a relapse or is it something that we come along with.
I can’t call my psychiatrist before Monday and I’m thinking to take 100mg more Solian. I take 300mg with 6mg of invega.
Yeah, I get a bit anxious around kids too. They’re loud, obnoxious, and their parents don’t teach them nowadays how not to be a-holes. Even when I was a kid, they were pretty rowdy.
I don’t think it was paranoid to think they might’ve been talking crap about you. Maybe you were more nervous than usual and it was obvious to them, and they said something snarky to the other kid? It happens. Everybody has snark to say about everyone. People are annoying but what can you do?
I wouldn’t worry about those kids.
As for a relapse, it’s good you’re in contact regularly with your doctor and in remission. I’ve been in remission for a few years, and have had bouts of paranoia here or there. It doesn’t hurt to be optimistic about what’s going on. Thinking that the world is caving in around you, however, can do harm to your mental and physical wellbeing. So do something nice for yourself.
Maybe next time you see kids whispering behind their hands at each other, make a funny face or just smile at them. They probably don’t care in any event.
It sounds like you definitely do need to talk to your pdoc soon. However, I’d say the best course of action would be, while you wait for your appointment, to be vigilant for other signs. But try to relax and remain calm. Don’t assume this means your meds have stopped working.
Because maybe this was a one off. Maybe you just had a bad experience. At best, most meds work a majority of the time and not all the time. Some things do get through while the meds are working especially if you are in a stressful moment which it seemed you were.
And if you think things are really bad, it is okay to go to an ER if necessary. Better safe than sorry.
Also, if everyone knew everyone else’s thoughts the world would be very different. It would be much kinder and you would know everyone has sexual thoughts and everyone is in their own way pretty crazy.