Paranoia and Trust


One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that there really are unkind, untrustworthy people in the world. But, I am also paranoid. It’s become so that I don’t know who I can trust at all. I know some of that is the paranoia, but I also know that some of this mistrust is well founded.

It keeps me from enjoying my life to its fullest. I feel like I can never let my guard down completely. I’ll put effort into a relationship with someone, and then it falls apart when I start thinking of the other side of the coin: the way the person could be manipulating me into getting closer for the purposes of hurting me in the end.

And I have a lot of love to give! If only I knew who to trust. It’s painfully frustrating to want to share things with people, but being prevented from it because I’m afraid they’ll hurt me (I’ve been hurt a lot. I don’t want to be hurt anymore).



I know exactly what you are talking about. Sure, we are paranoid about people sometimes, but people also really do have bad intentions. We can’t tell the difference. So, are we supposed to just completely trust everyone all the time like we’re idiots? Or, we can never trust anyone, and harm our relationships. It sucks!



Although i am prone to paranoia there can be times when i am too quick to open up and trust- a curious mixture of naivety and paranoia? This is almost exclusively online.
Irl i tend to think so called ‘normal’ people will treat me like the bullies did when i was a teenager.



I have been realizing that I have a tendency to try an scare people away so I don’t feel that problem with trust because I confirmed my own suspicions about them before I even said hello.

But lately, I’ve been trying to give people a little more chance. So far, I’ve been lucky. There have been a few jerks, but there have been some cool people as well. I just have to remember that it all balances out.



When it comes down to me trusting people, I gradually open up about myself over a period of months or years rather than spilling my life story to a person I just met in a day. I don’t believe in making fast friends. I wouldn’t say that I am paranoid about people. Just cautious, because I don’t know what goes on the minds of the people I know.



I agree with Tanaka. Gradually opening up to a person as you get to know them is much better!!



Your mistrust is well founded. Having the illness being paranoid and all keeps my guard up. Often to the point where I don’t really need it. Its a pretty bad scar.




It’s good to see you on the new forum. I’ve been hoping to see your advice pop up here.




I am also careful with who I decide to be friends with. I only have two good friends that I know I can count on. They were there for me when I got my psychosis and they are still there for me. I’ve known them for many years.

New ppl are scary, you never know why they want to be friends, if they have bad intentions. I never tell ppl about my illness unless we are friends.



When I was a kid I had one very close friend way back from my speedy 6 year old swim team. He was really cool with me for a while. But when I got put in hospital at 17, he disappeared. But the thing is, he didn’t split due to my SZ getting so out of hand. We were both misunderstanding what was going on with ourselves and each other.

He was coming out of the closet and having a hard time figuring himself out. My flat effect and then my disappearance made him think I split on him since he was now discovering he wasn’t into girls. I was crumbling and I was sure he was splitting on me because I now had this full blown problem.

Last month his kid sis and my kid sis got us in a room at the same time and we ended up talking and realizing he had NO idea I was taken to hospital and that was why I disappeared. I had NO idea back then what he was going through because I was too far gone to even know what I was going through.

We’ve been rebuilding that old friendship again. There were times in both our lives we sure could have used each others friendship, but both of us were too nose out of joint to budge.
Another thing that has inspired some friends to drift back into my life is that fact that I quit drinking and doing drugs. As soon as the Alcohol and drugs left, people started coming back. It had nothing to do with my SZ. It had to do with what an abusive jerk I am when I’m drunk and high.



Trust and Relationships been there and am sure I’v got some scars in the back of my mind. The truth is tho we need to trust people in order to Co-exist on this earth. But what you have to understand is that there are different levels of trust, First off you don’t trust people in this world unless they earn it and the same goes for them and you, They don’t trust you until you earn theres…

How do you know if you can trust someone? tell them a little secret, something that means little or nothing to you, give it some time a few months at the latest, and if you hear it back then you know you can’t trust them.

You also don’t need to tell people your becomming friends with about your sickness in detail. That’s something you share only with the people closest to you who have already earned your trust. You cannot confide in everyone nur should you want to.

We all get hurt, Sick or not. It’s called life. we choose to Co-live with others and sadly they have a little power to hurt you but you can do so much to make it not hurt you as much. Like talking to someone in detail about what your going through, the more you talk about something the less personal value it contains. Meaning - if you talk about your problems enough and work on getting over them then your problems become something of the past leaving you proud of what you came through.

Then all you’ll think is let them talk because look at me now!




That was a good point that you brought up. I guess we don’t need to tell everyone we meet about our illness.

Thanks for that bit of enlightenment!



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I have learned something in life that I should never give my trust just for the desire of having someone to trust on my side but I have learned that trust is earned not given