One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that there really are unkind, untrustworthy people in the world. But, I am also paranoid. It’s become so that I don’t know who I can trust at all. I know some of that is the paranoia, but I also know that some of this mistrust is well founded.
It keeps me from enjoying my life to its fullest. I feel like I can never let my guard down completely. I’ll put effort into a relationship with someone, and then it falls apart when I start thinking of the other side of the coin: the way the person could be manipulating me into getting closer for the purposes of hurting me in the end.
And I have a lot of love to give! If only I knew who to trust. It’s painfully frustrating to want to share things with people, but being prevented from it because I’m afraid they’ll hurt me (I’ve been hurt a lot. I don’t want to be hurt anymore).