I’ve used internet forums for almost two decades. I feel my skin is an appropriate thickness.
I’ve been on other sites and seriously, thick skin is what is needed out there.
Here on the other hand, we get to pour our hearts out for ourselves and others, it’s the most supportive community I’ve seen all my life, and should be kept like that for as long as possible.
I thought of it at first as “ah this is the internet, always a bad apple” then it just got tiresome to the point I didn’t feel like being on here because it was spiking symptoms. And I need to be on here, it does me good, I’ve made friends I relly on to be well on a daily basis.
So the its the internet point you’re making doesn’t sit well with me. This is not 4chan or reddit or any other forum, this is sz forum where people come to ease their pains not cause more pain.
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It looks like those accused have been banned for decades. What else is there to discuss?
Nothing, you’re right,
I’m gonna go study.
i think trolls can bring entertainment
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Kuramacj wanted a rehash, for whatever reasons.
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I haven’t been paying attention, so I don’t know how bad it was. I went through all his posts for the last week and a half, and only one of them I thought needed to be flagged. But if he is in fact trying to isolate people and prey on them then he needs to be stopped. Maybe temporarily banned until he can communicate appropriately. They say this has been going on for months, and we need to balance everyone’s rights equally.
I said “a little innapropriate”, not flagrantly abusive. I’m on thin ice here because I haven’t been reading his posts. I would like to see for myself how bad he has been. If it’s been bad enough to make someone consider leaving this forum then I say ban him.
It was just persistently asking for my pictures even though I said no multiple times. Then I posted two on the pics thread and he said “More, more” … Then he started verbally harrassing. My paranoia says that he was stalking the threads I was posting on, but maybe that’s just my paranoia. He’s banned for a month, lets see when he comes back if he continues. I hope not.
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SzAdmin has told us that he has elected not to communicate appropriately, and so won’t be back. So that’s that, I guess.
I get what you are saying but just wanted to point out the difference between the truly antisocial and predatory and those whose behaviour is related to their state of mind. It is not always easy to tell except by long examination of behaviour which I accept is the case in this instance,
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Some people can’t learn from their mistakes. If he is making life intolerable for others then he needs to go.
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I started with your approach.
I tried to patiently and nonjudgmentally work with him through his issues, answer any questions he had and make him feel heard. It involved giving candid answers about a sexual assault that happened to me as a child. I engaged him in discussions when he told me that the experience made me impure and didn’t get upset.
He then started badgering me for pictures. I told him no several times. At the same time, he told waterway he wanted to bloody her face up because he didn’t like an emoji she had used and was temporarily banned from the site. He created another account to circumvent the ban and continue to ask me for pictures. He told me he thought his behavior was creepy but that he couldn’t stop himself, he needed to have pictures of me.
He then started posting comments about how cj and I were the best people on the boards because we had been raped. Simultaneously, he started posting comments in other threads about how women can’t be raped because we have 4 inch telescoping vaginas that have to come out to greet the ■■■■■ in order for intercourse to be possible, and any woman who claimed to have been raped actually was an enthusiastic participant.
Then he made a post about how women thought he was a predator, and numerous people from the board chimed in to explain to him where this perception came from. In that post, he told me that his behavior to me was in order to make me think I wasn’t special, and that was supposed to make me like him.
Then he made some weird comment to cj about how her bedspread was going to rape her.
Then he started to make posts about how much he hated people and how there was no need to control his actions as he didn’t believe in free will. Then he posted that murderers will go to heaven, as killing is God’s plan for them.
I posted in a thread that women don’t like manipulative behavior and we will talk amongst ourselves about this, and he told me that I was his biggest enemy and should be punished for this.
Then he started asking Minnii for pictures, and when she said no, posted a long screed about how women on other sites will post naked photos of themselves without even being asked, so there’s no reason for Minnii to refuse to post her pictures. He started following her around from thread to thread, accusing her of refusing to satisfy men.
He vanished for a while, then came back as northernsky, and posted bragging about publicly revealing the identity of a woman on another site whose sexual fantasies he didn’t approve of.
Throughout all of this, he has pestered several other women for pictures - waterway, sarad, claire are ones I’m aware of - kept up a steady stream of sexual posts, some of them general, about women’s purity, some of them aggressively directed at other female posters, like ish, posts referring to women as btches and cnts, complained about how he is being discriminated against for just being himself, and refused to alter his behavior at all.
This is the short version. This is just what I’m aware of, and not even all I’m aware of.
I agree that the right approach is patience and understanding, but I feel the time for that has passed with him.
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cc: @firemonkey
The motivations to control and/or harm others may be diverse. They may be resentment-driven compensations for abuse. They may be sadistic because the abuse of others is experienced as gratifying or empowering. They may come out of dominance-and-submission models one experienced years before and is unconscious of when they are acting out. They may come from relatively conscious, cynical, unempathic, uncompassionate and unethical orientations others might call “anti-social,” “sociopathic” or “psychopathic.”
Or they may come from essentially UN-conscious and unprocessed abuse and “narcissistic injury” (see the link below; this is very common among sz pts, btw) that are filtered through beliefs they picked up from others that require then to “get revenge.”
Is that where you (firemonkey) were headed in your comments?
Internalized narcissistic injury (see the second link below) in early life can lead to severe anxiety and depression coupled with self-harm, as well. Externalized narcissistic injury typically leads to abuse of others who will sit and take it.
But the outcome of are nevertheless harmful to others and deserve to be banned in a hopefully supportive environment like this forum or any en vivo or en vitro group environment.
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Oh my gosh, I forgot about the telescoping vagina thing! I didn’t even know how to respond to that one! He also posted about how one time he was walking down the street at night, and a woman screamed for help because she was being raped, and he walked up to her and the man, laughed at her, and told her no she wasn’t. He then walked away and left her with the man.
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cc: @firemonkey @waterway @Sarad @Minnii @anon8640148
Actually, the bulk of the literature that guides the treatment (such as it is) at the Atascadero and Patton State Hospitals on the violent sexual predator units does not counsel “patience and understanding.” Very much as is the case with violent offenders and socio/psychopaths of any kind, it counsels peer group dynamics to break down the paranoid ego defense mechanisms of the newer patients (see the bibliography below).
This is not something one can do here, and not something any female here should attempt to do owing to the high likelihood of ego boundary diffusion and co-dependent susceptibility to subtle but very compelling manipulation by these often very slick and talented stimulation and abuse freaks. It is not anyone’s job here to rescue of help these people.
I know this sounds unusually “totalistic” coming from me, but I know what these people are like from first-hand experience with several of them. They can rationalize anything. And they NEED to destroy all surrogates of the hated mother (or father) who they believe destroyed their lives. (Female baiters and biters very much included.)
Beck, A.: Prisoners Of Hate: The Cognitive Basis of Anger, Hostility, and Violence, New York: Harper-Collins, 1999.
Beck, A.; Freeman, A.: Cognitive Theory of the Personality Disorders, New York: Guilford Press, 1990.
Golomb, E.: Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self, New York: William Morrow, 1992.
Hare, R.: Without Conscience, New York: Guilford Press, 1993.
Livesley, W. J.: Practical Management of Personality Disorder, New York: Guilford Press, 2003.
Meloy, J. R.: The Psychopathic Mind: Origins, Dynamics, and Treatment, New York: Jason Aronson, 1994.
Millon, T.; Simonsen, E.; Birket-Smith, M.; Davis, R.: Psychopathy: Antisocial, Criminal, and Violent Behavior, Guilford Press, 1998.
Millon, T.; Grossman, S.: Overcoming Resistant Personality Disorders: A Personalized Psychotherapy Approach, New York: John Wiley & Sons, 2008.
Prendergast, W.: Treating Sex Offenders in Correctional Institutions and Outpatient Clinics: A Guide to Clinical Practice, New York: The Haworth Press, 1991.
Stone, M.: Abnormalities of Personality Within and Beyond the Realm of Treatment, New York: W. W. Norton, 1993.
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This thread is getting ridiculous. If someone harasses you flag them. The administration will take care of it.
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yikes! a community forum for a community forum. I think this thread has done its job. if nothing else, the accused are on record for suspect behavior. also serves as a warning for would-be trollers. The people have spoken!
I have unfortunately encountered enough of these that I’ve learned the best thing you can do is to just separate them from the rest of the herd. Better for them to claw at themselves than claw at many others.
Pixel.
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High five on that.