Online friend is a narcissist

i really feel bad for him. he’s delusional, jealous, insecure, grandiose. always thinks he’s right about everything. so stuck up in his ways and so hurtful. his delusional thinking is way different than that of a SZ. I reckon our delusions are fearful and looking for approval, while he just looks to hate and bring people down through false beliefs that he convinces himself are true.

he’s becoming an impossible person to deal with. becomes meaner every day. do you have any encounters with clear narcissists? everyone can think about themselves, but there’s a fine line between healthy egoism and narcissism I believe. your thoughts?

sorry just had to vent because it’s bothering me.


btw its no one on this forum, so i dont want anyone to be paranoid…its someone on aol messenger that ive talked to for 9 years now

It can be hard to tell, I don’t know, really what to tell you.

Some people like this are only out for pleasure and instant gratification, but that kind of explains a lot of behaviors in today’s society.

Maybe you feel like you constantly have to feed this person, and that can be exhausting.

1 Like

I have elements of narcissism but honestly the grandiosity about me is legit. That’s what’s different about me- I say “I’m in Phi Kapp Phi” and “I lifted 500lbs six times” and “I’m trained and experienced in hand to hand combat” but it’s all ■■■■■■■ true like not delusional actually happened.

I think it’s hilarious- delusional at first glance, for real under a looking glass

1 Like

That’s nothing like this kid…I told him yesterday I didn’t want to talk to him for a while and he’s been ranting ever since to my other friend “his book won’t sell ten copies” and just mean hurtful things. Calling me names. Supposed to be my friend but roots against me. Gets very jealous. And insecure. He’s malignant and acts real immature. It’s bad. He has preconceived opinions about everything and refuses to listen. The saddest part of it all is he uses the Internet to fuel it. Probably very shy in real life but comes off grandiose online. Oh well. Probably part of the reason I’m ambitious is because of him. He used to be smarter than me but through abuse which leads to motivation and cuz of karma and recovering from sz I’ve surpassed him. Funny how that works out. But I shouldn’t take the Internet so seriously /rant

About three years ago I dumped a long time college friend of mine that was narcissistic as hell and a raging abusive alcoholic to his little girl and ex wife who was also a friend of mine. Good riddance I say. Who needs the ■■■■■■■■.

1 Like

This guys also a real bad alcoholic in denial and smokes weed all day everyday since 15, you would think the weed would chill him out

Going back to Freud in the late 1800s, Harry Stack Sullivan (in the '50s, I think) and definitely Theodore Millon (who wrote the DSM III and IV sections on the personality disorders in the '80s and '90s): There’s a sense-making notion that one who sees himself as incompetent (because The Voices are whacking on him all the time?) (because his parents, older siblings or the school yard bullies told him he was?) may try to compensate by going grandiose and intellectually righteous.

This “compensatory pseudo-narcissism” is the polar opposite (according to Millon) of the “entitled narcissism” of the “spoiled child” who got everything he wanted and continues to expect that it is his right to do so. Having seen both types quite often, it seem to me that using this explanation may help you to make more sense of your “friend.”

The article at this link describes the same diversity in a somewhat different way:


Apparently there’s a Narcissist or two in my family.

I get my feelings hurt on a regular basis.


I had a friend for 4 1/2 years that I suspected was a narcissist in real life. He had a common-law wife and a daughter with her, but he was always flirting with other women. There were other things, but I’m sure he was the one who was greatly responsible for my last meltdown. I’ve posted about it before.

Forgive me. I totally lapsed on Alfred Adler and his “inferiority” and “superiority” complexes. See

I have a “friend” like this, as well. He was a big wheel in town when he was married into a family that owned an operated the biggest restaurant chain in the area. He was very smart and did a lot to make the chain successful. Then the wife ditched him when he was no longer needed. He continues to smoke gange and insist that he has all the answers. Still sees me as his “consultant.” Most of his friends and relatives see him as insufferably self-righteous and condescending.

But knowing his mother somewhat, I can see how he may be compensating for never being good enough for her. She is a caricature of the chilly, smugly righteous, you’ll-get-no-love-from-me-unless-you’re-successful mum.


I’m soo sorry this guy is making you feel so bad. I know it’s not always a good idea to keep cutting people out of your life… but a few of the things you were mentioning…

That makes it hard to stay positive and if he’s brining you down too… we tear ourselves down so much anyway… having a friend do it to doesn’t make it easier to recover.

That right there… I had to drop a lot of toxic people when I was quitting drinking and smoking pot.

Your working so hard to get your book off the ground and get healthy and cultivate a healthy lifestyle… people who aren’t ready to get healthy sometimes mock others who are trying.

I can understand you not wanting to loose friends… but taking some time away from this person is completely understandable.

I bet he’s jealous… your working to get a book of the ground… it sounds like he’s stagnated… drinking and smoking pot everyday will stagnate a life.

Good luck and I hope you can be kind to yourself… You are doing a great job with all the hard work your doing. Don’t let others bring you down.

1 Like

Yeah I didn’t take it too heart too much, he doesn’t even know the first two words the story is about. He’s just hateful and that bothers me in some way. Probably be good to take a break from him…i did it before and he came back much better…its like giving him a “timeout” works.

and I realized I have a long way to go. Gotta do another revision before I send it out to get edited. Then gotta get cover art, find a publishing company, etc,… I really think its good though! Thanks for all your support @SurprisedJ , you’ve been real helpful the last couple of weeks especially, through stressful times. Peace.

Please remember “Harry Potter” got 17 rejection letters before Scholastic picked it up.
Don’t get discouraged. Good luck and I know you’ll find a publisher.

1 Like

OK if you know what narcissism is , maybe you should learn what ‘Codependency’ is.

In terms of all this I wouldn’t get too paranoid about all these terms as most people I know have varying traits from the above.

Also in terms of looking at personality traits , when I started looking at and reading psychology , it made me feel paranoid. I would frequently try to divorce myself from a seemingly unattractive terms. Big mistake , people are driven by egotism , and that’s why we like to talk about ourselves so much.

I have compensatory pseudo narcissism