Okay, something seriously weird is going on

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I’ve been fighting going through one of my phases for a while and I’m feeling myself slip and I’m not seeing my nurse until next Friday, I’ve tried ringing my mum but she’s not answering… I’m not sure if it’s my head or something more, you guys have seen my post about falling but today something’s been happening not long after my last post, I was sitting at my desk having a cup of tea and studying when all of a sudden I felt hot water going down my left leg like the temp of my tea or water in the bath and I thought I’d spilt some on myself but nope my tea was in my hand and steady I was rubbing my leg but it was dry and the feeling continues I started to panic, still am panicking it carried on for I think a few minutes whilst I was rubbing it then it stopped, I started to cry I hate crying!

I think because I’m trying not to believe in my head stuff they’re finally going to kill me they’re going to make me fall in the middle of a busy road or they’re going to make the implant self destruct, they put a dream in my head this morning that I burnt my legs with the kettle how can this not be deliberate, there must be something happening how can I say it’s not real when this sort of thing is happening, it’s happened once more and it’s scaring me I’ve got all curtains closed and no lights on, voices are just being awful ramping me up. I’m not sure how to come down so I’m writing here, didn’t know where else to go I’m also aware this could all be my body but this is too coincidental and deliberate.

I don’t know who’s doing it whether it’s the voices or the spies. I’ve still got insight right now I’m aware it could be other things but they just don’t seem likely, can anyone help before I lose myself again, I’ve only been able to stay away for a month but this is just cruel either that or something seriously physical is going on which could be possible but again not seeing doctor until the twelfth… Oh I dot know what is happening.

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sometimes the evidence we see is reasonable to think, but not percise or true.

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When nerves are knocked out by drugs such as Novocain, they can wake up any old time and have some fierce things to say. I’d just rub your leg and figure it was a nerve waking up.

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I have had this, it sounds exactly like a tactile hallucination. I used to get very upset by these, but it was explained to me that the nerves in the body misfire sometimes and cramp a bit and feel odd… we get physical feelings of things that didn’t happen. I’ve had stabs and other pains, but I’ve also had gentle caresses. It’s just muscles and things misfiring.

I used to become quiet upset by these, only to find that the more upset I get by them, the more tense I become and that triggers more of them. Just like with the voices, the more upset I get about the voices, the stronger they become.

Getting up and walking around, rubbing the muscle and taking a breath and getting out of the situation, away from the desk helps me a lot.

Now I’m far more used to them so when they hit I can tell myself it’s just my muscles acting up. Get up, walk around, divert the mind. Your doing well by coming on here and talking it through. Getting panicked only makes the wheels fall off faster.

It sounds like a panic attack is happening with this tactile hallucination. Something is stressing you out… When I have panic attacks, I also close the curtains and shut the lights and try to breathe. I take a bath in a dimly let room sometimes or I sit in the closet in the cool dark and again, calm my mind.

For the voices I would look at my skin where they said they were going to “burn” me and I would see there was no burning. Sometimes I would get some ice with me not for any burning but because ice is sort of soothing to me.

Please breathe, but on some relaxing music, I would also write it out… and logic with myself about being home, alone and safe, no one can see me.

I really do hope you feel better. I hope your Mom will answer soon and you can talk with her.

I’m rooting for you.

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@Dante13 It could be many things, have you started a new med? It could be a side effect from the meds

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@Wave Didn’t think of that one. Good call…

How are you doing with your med switch? Hope all is still smooth and well.

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Thank you both, it could be either of those things, I’m not sure but the second one could have been induced, I haven’t started a new med but had it doubled in dosage and I reacted to that dose before but neither me or mum can remember why I was taken off it because I was so unwell.

It’s all happening at the moment, mum got my messages and rang me back told me to ring my nurse and see what he says and if it happens again we’re going the the doctor or casualty if there is no appointment. My nurse has been corresponding with a doctor and has got them to write a prescription to reduce my dose, mums picking it up now with any luck all this will go away. Thank you for talking to me thinking it could be the meds or hallucination has helped it gave me reasons other than what my head was telling me, thanks guys it means a lot.

With any luck it is just that, a side effect or my brain playing tricks, not some bigger plot or illness, I’m hoping to god it’s not something physical, I have enough of that due to whatever.

Thank you for talking to me again, I’ll try what you suggested @SurprisedJ when it happens, if it continues to happen as it’s horrid I’m sorry you have to go through it too, I’ve had the courage to open the curtains now and hopefully my mum will be home soon,

Take care,
Meg.

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I am reading this a day late-but hope you are feeling better today XXXX

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Thank you, I’m feeling better mentally but the weird sensations are still happening, I’m keeping a diary and will give it to my doctor when I see him, when it’s happening it feels like it’s going to go on forever and my leg feels very weak and aching, I’m keeping my head under control because my mum did research and it’s not uncommon and unless they’ve all got implants then I’m not alone and this could either be the meds, halllucination or illness. Will see what the doc says, I’m hoping as the decreased dose kicks in it stops but thank you for replying, it means a lot!

Take care and hope you are coping as well too,
Meg x

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dante 13,lots of good advice written…sounds like you are taking some action also…great idea keeping a diary…heart felt hugs for you and situation,hang tough

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Can u help me i feel like bugs are crawling all over me

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@Mehelp1 SurprisedJ no longer posts on this forum.

Are you taking medication? I hope you find a med that works for you. I’m sorry you are going through this.

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dude, that just means you’re hot. :sunglasses:

just kidding…

but seriously, how are you? are you still okay?