But I don’t think I’m “recovered” or “cured”. Too much negative, weird thinking leading to unusual patterns of coping in this life due to the effects of one of the ten most disabling diseases in the world has done its damage and it can’t be undone or fixed.
WTH, who cares? Its a beautiful California Fall day. My chips and salsa is excellent and my tuna sandwich was good and I got out for a nice drive today and I went shopping and picked up some plates and two wastebaskets for the homestead and I am incredibly content and I am going to McDonalds for dinner later.
You see, I am a mixture of my old, pre-schizophrenia self and my new self, earned the hard way over 37 years. Did I mention ice cream? Yeah, I’m going to have some ice cream later, you can bet on it.
Luck can surely play a huge part in recovery but it also takes work and skill and taking risks, even if they are just “calculated risks”. But a cloudless blue sky is there for anyone to enjoy, whether you are schizophrenic or not. And its free. And most things don’t come free in this life but nature is free if you have two eyes.
I was a notch closer to happiness today when i drank four beers, then i remembered that i dont know what it’s like to feel happy anymore. 10 years of sz is enough to forget what ur old self felt like.
Alcohol is actually a depressant, I think a lot of people don’t understand that. I’m not criticizing because I used to get drunk often. I got clean in 1990.
Reuben sandwich
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Reuben sandwich is an American hot sandwich composed of corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing, grilled between slices of rye bread. Several variants exist.[1]
I got clean in AA, CA, and NA. I’ve been clean and sober since January of 1990. The program is not complicated. You go to meetings, you get a sponsor and work the 12-steps of the program, and follow some simple principles.
Not only does AA or CA help you quit drinking or drugging but it helps you build a better, more productive life. In the basic text of AA they say even people with mental disorders can get clean if they have the capacity to be honest.
Meetings are good. You don’t have to talk you can just sit their and listen. I’ve been to over a thousand meetings and I have seen other mentally ill people in there. I have never seen anyone get picked on, shunned or treated disrespectfully because of a mental illness. Part of the reason is that a surprisingly large number of alcoholics and addicts have been in psyche wards themselves or they have felt crazy in their life.
The people are friendly in meetings and want to help and support each other. The old-timers with lots of clean time know that they can learn a lot from a newcomer. In fact, it is often said that the newcomer is the most important person in the room. A newcomer reminds them of what’s it’s still like out there for practicing alcoholics and this reinforces the older members desire to stay clean and not go back to that lifestyle.
When I got clean, my life blossomed. Before I got clean my life revolved around getting and using drugs. I spent all my money on drugs I hung out with the wrong crowd who were irresponsible and caused trouble, I went places where I didn’t belong like crack houses and hanging out at night with ex-cons and hookers who I had just met. But when I got clean, I got a job. I enrolled in college, eventually I got a car. I was taking the bus to 5 or 6 meetings a week before I got my car… I talked a little to people in meetings and went to AA dances or picnics or other functions. I hung out with cool, sober people. I no longer had to fear the police because I was not causing trouble anymore. Instead of being part of the problem I became part of the solution.
AA, CA and NA changed my life and saved my life. The way I was headed in my active addiction, I probably would have either got badly hurt or killed by someone. But I joined the programs, I went to meetings and now I have no desire to drink or use drugs. My obsession and compulsion to use is gone. The craving for drugs and alcohol is gone.
I read the aa big book and went to a few meetings. I am not an alcoholic yet, just drink six beers 2-3 times a week. I dont use drugs either. Did u surrender ur will to god? Do u still surrender it if so? I dont wanna live my life that way. Do u still go to meetings?
