How does your OCD play with psychosis? I’m trying to understand mine :S I cant think straight
Sometimes I dont know if I’m paranoid or obsessed about my fear of home intruders. I think the two can feed off of each other, because when my paranoia is worse I start acting compulsively on my obsessions, such as checking the doors 20 times throughout the day.
Sometimes I can tell it’s my OCD because I know my fear is irrational, but it still feels real. When I’m lost in paranoia it’s hard to see that my fears are illogical.
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I feel like it’s such a blurry line for me. I’ve always maintained some degree of insight, like enough to take myself to the hospital as needed and have a general sense that something is wrong. My psychosis manifested first as cotards delusion and alien contact. But it starts as an obsession towards my health usually, which is why I conclude I’m dead sometimes. I’m just worried because I’m obsessed with my health again and having panic attacks about contamination. I dont even want to go out sometimes our of fear of getting sick.
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my ocd means having multiple showers. its very time consuming and depressing. i spend alot of time in the bathroom sometimes just staring at my face. my face changes. the psychosis comes with images of faces on the shower wall. depending on how sick i am the faces can be that of demons twisted with rage or pain. then when im really going downhill something under my skin begins crawling. this will make me think i’m rotting from the inside out and i will have another shower.
sometimes the urge is there to mutilate myself but i fight it.
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