Not sure if losing it again. Need to talk.

I read all that. Interesting story. You sound quite accomplished, in spite of the SZ.

Two things I can suggest, one is switching to a THC-free strain high in CBD, so that the THC doesn’t make you lose your sanity (it worsens schizophrenia.)

Second thing is to give Amyloban 3399 a try, if you’re adamant on staying away from antipsychotics. Me and another forum regular are taking it and have experienced at least a 2/3rds reduction in symptoms. There is more info including some studies here.

Good luck!