Not sure how to feel about him

TW pedophilia

So when i was 16 i started taking guitar lessons, and my instructor groomed me. He was 23, we started dating a few months later. Only he kept in very close contactcwith his ex and she clearly was in love with him still so this made my 16 year old mind very jealous. We worked through it but i had a few clues he was cheating on me, but i was always talked out of it. Then i turned 18 and graduated high school and was dying to move away from my abusive family so i moved in with him and he suddenly stopped seeing me at all. Hed leave before i woke up and be gone until 2am and get mad when id be upset about it. One night my “best friend” called me to tell me she and another girl had slept with him (friend was my age and other girl was 16…) so i broke up with him and moved back in with my family. Later on i found out he cheated on me literally the entire relationship and had a porn addiction. When he turned 30, he got arrested for trying to have sex with a 13 year old.

Hes vile, absolutely. But what confuses me is he was the first person to give me any sort of hope for the future. He talked me into going to college. He introduced me to spirituality. He taught me how to cook and clean. He believed in me when no one else did. He essentially was a parent to me.

I hate that hes so sick he did bad things but i wouldnt take my time with him back.

So, it is not black or white.

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Teaching you things made him feel powerful over a young girl. It was part of your grooming

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I wonder that too. He also put me on an incredibly high pedestal while denying who i really was. I think he just saw me how he wanted to, and i tried so hard to live up to that expectation, even years after we broke up.

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What about guitar? Do you play? I’d hate that it ruined it for you but then you could pick up another instrument.

I played a lot until more recent years. But i still pick it up and write every once in a while.

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He was just trying to make you feel good with him that he was a good guy you could trust

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I read the first post and it doesn’t sound anything inappropriate happened. I read it a few times. I don’t know!

Really?

I was 16, he was 23. He cheated on me the entire relationship including on other 16 year olds. Didnt mention this, but he was also caught to be video taping a 7 year old getting dressed while we were together. He went to prison for trying to have sex with a 13 year old girl.

Tell me how none of that is inappropriate…?

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That does sound bad. you should’ve mentioned that earlier.

I think what i meantioned was plenty bad enough. If you dont see it that way maybe you should reconsider.

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:thinking: :face_with_raised_eyebrow: :zipper_mouth_face:

IDK

This was all in Moons first post…

Edit: Except the 7 year old part.

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I’m sorry @Froge to be insensitive.

So wheres your cut off on what age a 23 year old man can date? Because clearly a 16 year old is fine to you, lol.

The first post is very hard to read,

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Any tips on how to make it more legible ?

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This predator sounds like a real piece of â– â– â– â– .

It’s probably best to move on and try and forget about him.

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I have for the most part. But theres still some trauma there that id like to work through.

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I think what I get from your post @Froge is that you’re conflicted? I think for me as well being somebody who was abused as a child its hard to fell the difference when one is is being nice to you as well as being abused, if that make sense?

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