I really feel like I’m at my wits end. I’m tired of the country watching me. I want my privacy back. I’m really contemplating suicide. That would be a lot better than what I’m dealing with.
Please don’t commit suicide. There are numbers you can call for help.
2 Likes
I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t already been said to you. The country isn’t watching you…it’s just a delusion. I wish we could get through to you and get you some relief but everything I can say to you has been said multiple times. Wish you luck in dealing with your delusion.
4 Likes
I’m only surviving because of my babies!!
1 Like
Do you have some friends or supportive people to talk to? 
1 Like
Do you tell your doctor all of the stuff you tell us? I would think that would motivate him/her to keep trying different drugs until he/she gets some results.
3 Likes
If you are feeling suicidal or having a mental health crisis, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a crisis intervention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries. You do not need to be actively suicidal to benefit from a crisis hotline.
International crisis hotlines:
Crisis hotlines in the U.S.:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org
More resources:
it’s gotta be rough to be stuck in a delusion that no matter what anyone says your mind still makes you believe. I guess I got lucky that AP’s worked for me. I hope you will talk to your doc about trying Clozapine or something because you appear to be extremely treatment resistant. This has been going on for far too long. I hope you can get some relief before it drives you to something regrettable.
1 Like
No I dont. 15151515
1 Like
Where I am we only have a nurse practitioner, no pdoc.
1 Like
If you’re feeling suicidal antidepressants might help. Tell your psychiatrist your feelings and that you think about suicide.
3 Likes
omg. that has to suck. Still, can’t she prescribe you your antipsychotics? You don’t know if they can knock this delusion out of you until you’ve tried them all, up to and including clozapine. I don’t know what else to suggest. You sure sound like you need a med adjustment.
3 Likes
What is going on with your meds situation? I doubt the country is watching you. They have their own lives to tend to.
1 Like
I really do need one.
1 Like
I really wish I could believe that .
I used feel like that… like life was a nightmare… except you don’t wake up.
I felt like this when my audio hallucination/voices were owning my life with paranoia on top of it. I thought the mafia was following me and the radio, I thought, was surely against me. All the music they played were talking smack about me, the DJs also…
Command hallucinations, so to speak, had me walking for miles and miles on highways, over mountains, on train tracks trespassing every where with blisters on my feet… crawled up at train stations… but those voices and radio representatives and tv hosts talking about me, was a delusion. And so are yours. Don’t be like me and do stupid things…
Although you seem to be doing better seeing your post somewhere else🙂 so that’s good
2 Likes
People don’t believe me ( especially Doctors ) but I think the voices are evil spirits. That is what kept me from being suicidal when I was extremely depressed. Don’t let them cause you to harm yourself or others.
That’s what they want you to do. You don’t want to go with or be like them. You know where they come from and it ain’t heaven!
1 Like
I remember another aspect of my 3 month psychosis where I had the same ideas of reference.
If you feel famous, there are worse things.
But I felt infamous and notorious and smoked thinking it would please my enemies. To but me more time or something…
It felt like duress and funny is I even started becoming kinder and kinder bc I thought I was part of some type of ‘Hunger Games’ where I had to entertain and be popular and well liked etc.
Posing a question for you is how bad does the lack of privacy get for you. [I feared greatly for the safety of my own person.]
Is that a piece of it? You don’t have to answer.
Still personally J remember motivations of taking my life for logical reasons to avoid precisely what a sign I saw at a toll booth told me: it said: ‘depart slowly.’
These specifics are meant to pick you up and out of it. You don’t need to answer the questions I posed if you feel you’ll not benefit from it.
1 Like
Well, I’m a part of the world and I’m not watching you ---- I have no idea who you are or what you say, look like etc…
If I can’t see you (average guy) then how could the rest of the world ---- maybe your mind playing tricks on you? 
1 Like
I don’t think you’re on TV. I haven’t seen you. If someone is watching you somehow, I think you could figure it out. Some say spirits can watch us. Maybe what you perceive is them watching. You never know when things are going to change for you and you’ll see things totally different. You shouldn’t risk your life for temporary misery.
2 Likes