Not feeling good

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Hello,

this is my first post in this forum.

I am a 31yo man. I have been diagnosed as schizophrenic 5 years ago. I spent the last 7 years dealing with hallucinations (visual and auditory), lost in delusions (my university was spying on me, deleting credits when i was not studying, people constantly watching me in the streets), and fighting deep depression, self-harming (mostly on the chest, abdomen, shoulders and thighs; my ultimate fantasy is to do it on the face but i am too afraid of the social impact it might have).

During the last 5 years i tried many different medication : quietiapine, risperidone, latuda, rexulti, sleep medication etc. I finally found a balance with: rexulti 3mg in the morning with anti depressant and quietiapine 200mg in the evening to make me sleep.

I had a couple of good years, of course with ups and downs. But all in all I was able to finish my BA and I am almost finished with my MA in political sciences. I am almost at the end of the MA, having only to do a couple of papers and my thesis.

As of a couple of weeks, i have been feeling weird again. Lost in delusions of grandeur, automatically followed by deep melancolic states. I start avoiding crowds and going for groceries or social events are becoming more and more complicated. I mutter, shake my head, feel anxious, lost. I have a dreading “end of the world” like feeling. And the voices are going stronger, telling me bad things or to self-harm.

I cannot focus on my studies, I am barely able to take showers or to eat. I tend to stare into the void for long periods and people have started to tell me i “zone out” when they speak to me.

It hurts me because for a very long period I have been doing really well, having a very good social life, being organized, motivated, confident. And now, it seems that everything is falling apart. I don’t have the courage to call my psychiatrist, i am afraid to bother him, or other people, and i feel a deep shame about my current state.

I tried to cut the booze, succesfully so far.

I am trying to find advices, if you guys would be so kind, or tips on how you deal with these situations. It has been a long time since I’ve felt so bad and, feeling that all the work i’ve put into feeling better is falling apart/all for nothing, I feel completely lost.

I apologize in advance if I bother, or if my post is not desirable or in the right section.

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Welcome to the forum. Maybe a med adjustment is in order. :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:

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Welcome.

Stopping drinking is a good start. Stop drugs if you do those also. Weed included.

This part is hard though. Stop eating wheat. Switch to gluten-free. There’s a definite tie between gluten sensitivity and schizophrenia. 10% of diagnosed celiac disease sufferers are schizophrenic, whereas in the general public only 1% are. That’s people who have gone through the medical hoops and got an actual diagnosis. The number of people who have undiagnosed gluten sensitivity with schizophrenia must be huge.

You have to avoid gliadin too, that’s a close cousin of gluten that behaves similarly (stimulates the production of zonulin, which weakens your intestinal lining and blood brain barrier.)

I know personally that my life is better avoiding wheat. My joint pain flares up less and my head pressure feels more comfortable. It’s definitely an avenue worth exploring.

There’s a lot you can do to reduce symptoms, but this is just a start.

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Hello,

thanks.

I will have to contact my psychiatrist. I am just afraid because i changed medication multiple times and sometimes it got worse or the side effects were really difficult to deal with.

Last time i saw my psychiatrist, he suggested i take some xanax or some other type of anxiolitic medication. I am just afraid to get hooked on it. I am pretty easily addictive and I already struggle with alcohol.

But i will try to muster the courage to contact my psychiatrist. Thank you.

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Really, never heard of that. Definitely worth a try. Thank you.

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My 23 And Me dna analysis says I’m genetically predisposed to Celiac disease. What are the symptoms? Currently when I eat I get nasal congestion as if I’m allergic to the food I ate.

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According to https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/celiac-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20352220 :

Symptoms

The signs and symptoms of celiac disease can vary greatly and differ in children and adults. Digestive signs and symptoms for adults include:

  • Diarrhea
  • Fatigue
  • Weight loss
  • Bloating and gas
  • Abdominal pain
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Constipation

However, more than half the adults with celiac disease have signs and symptoms unrelated to the digestive system, including:

  • Anemia, usually from iron deficiency
  • Loss of bone density (osteoporosis) or softening of bone (osteomalacia)
  • Itchy, blistery skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis)
  • Mouth ulcers
  • Headaches and fatigue
  • Nervous system injury, including numbness and tingling in the feet and hands, possible problems with balance, and cognitive impairment
  • Joint pain
  • Reduced functioning of the spleen (hyposplenism)
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The best thing to do is talk to your psychiatrist.

It sounds like one of your meds has stopped working to me but I’m not a doctor.

Some meds can stop working after a while.

Diet probably isn’t going to make any difference.

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Welcome to the forum. I think you have nothing to be ashamed of. You simply need a med adjustment. Call your psychiatrist and let him know what’s going on. If your meds are right, you may not have these problems at all

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Welcome to the forum.

Keeping stress to a minimum will help. Like no excessive stress. That oughta help.

Good luck :herb:

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Thank you for living the way you do. I’m motivated and inspired by your post. Many of us deal with varying schizophrenia symptoms, of varying degrees, and I can’t say anyone truly just knows how to handle it. I am working on getting into college and advancing my career, but I get terrified my schizophrenia symptoms will ruin everything.
But you did so much! Congratulations! I’m sorry things are getting hard again. Please don’t give up, and fight those detrimental urges! Don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need! It’s probably gonna be really uncomfortable at first. But it’s worth it. While I may not have advice, reading your post just helped me feel a lot more confident in what we can do despite what we go through. Thank you again, and I know you can figure things out!

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Yeah, very unfortunately, in schizophrenia relapses happen. It could happen to almost anyone, even if they’re taking medication as prescribed.

Stopping the drinking is an important good step and as someone mentioned, if you are smoking weed or doing other street drugs it’s important to stop those too.

Two common causes of relapse is stress and stopping medication. But as someone mentioned, you may need a doctor to adjust your meds and a new or different medication may be in the cards for you.

You just might have too much on your plate in your life. You may be attempting to do too much and it’s catching up to you. After 40 years with schizophrenia I try to do as much as I can and even though I’ve gone through periods where I feel relatively OK and I’m functioning very highly I know I can’t “have it all” there’s just things I can’t do because of my disease.

I know how frustrating it is to be high functioning and then go downhill and after all this time I learned I have to make compromises and sacrifices in order to do what I’m doing. I know it’s difficult to look around at your friends or roommates or family and see them doing stuff you can’t do because of your illness. It’s frustrating also to feel equal and
“as good as” your friends but then you find you aren’t able to keep up anymore. But that’s how the disease works sometimes.

I’m not saying to give up, but you might have to take it easy and drop some stressful things that you are used to doing. Because you can be the most high functioning schizophrenic in the world but once you have schizophrenia it is going to affect you in some way, shape or form. That’s why you may have to make sacrifices and maybe dial back your activities.

I can tell you a little of my experience with schizophrenia from just a couple years ago. I function OK; I’ve been working for almost 35 years at various jobs (mostly part-time), I lived independently for almost twenty years, I’ve been driving since 1996, I take online college courses. I’m 59 by the way, diagnosed in 1980.

I stayed out of the hospital from 1990 to 2015. 25 years. I had a relapse in 2015. I got suicidal when my mom died and ended up in the psyche ward. A bunch of bad crap happen in my life and I’m still working, driving. taking classes and living semi-independently.

But just three years ago when I moved into this apartment I was given a very bad roommate. He didn’t clean, he drank and did drugs, borrowed money and just generally was a bad roommate. He was homeless and violent in his youth but it turns out a counselor told me lied a lot about his past and after he moved out I compared notes with the counselor and we figured out he lied about a lot of the stuff he told me. Just a bad guy.

We lived in this apartment for a year and he found such rotten ways to bug me and caused me so much stress that I literally began to have a serious relapse. I didn’t know how to deal with it, I felt helpless over the escalating relapse. I tried to stave it off.

Well, that guy finally moved out and incidentally, mental illness or not, I figured out what a liar and loser he
was after he moved out. But the good news is that within a month of him moving out my relapse stopped, the symptoms receded and I got back to normal.

This whole paragraph is to show what stress can do to a schizophrenic, whether the stressor is s person, place or thing or situation. Once the stress is gone whether it’s a terrible roommate, too many classes, working too many hours at work, hanging around the wrong people or going to the wrong places, doing drugs or drinking etc. Once you get rid of some of that stress you may avoid a serious relapse or maybe make it much less serious.

IDK know what else to tell you, this is my experiences after having schizophrenia so long. Don’t worry about calling your psychiatrist. Call him. You ain’t going to hurt him by calling him, he knew stuff like this would happen when he got into the psychiatry field and he knew what he was getting into when he took the job.
He gets paid to help and that includes dealing and helping his patients when they are going through a crisis. Welcome to the forums, I hope you got something from all this. This is a helpful, supportive site and we just want to help and who knows, maybe you’ll return the favor and help one of us someday! I hope things work out for you and take care!
,

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Do you have a therapist? That might help. It’s good that you’re staying off the alcohol. That’s a problem for me too. You might try an increase in medication. Talk to your pdoc about it.

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Welcome to the Forum. Good for you for reaching out. You should definitely contact your pdoc and let them know you’re struggling with some symptoms. You sound like you need a different anti-psychotic. Maybe switch out the quietiapine for something a little stronger and you’ll be good to go. Something simple like that. I’m sure your pdoc will have some really great ideas for you. In the meantime tending to your stress can help. So make sure you are getting enough sleep and good nutrition. Take a few extra minutes to relax here and there when you can. Do stretching exercises or Yoga Meditate. Drink plenty of water. All those self care things.

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Do you think it has something to do with living in a pandemic? Maybe you havent really come to terms with it, since you said something about it being the end of the world. Previously people used to feel invincible until they died or they were in a compromising situation but now were living in a time where its very possible we could die from a sensationalized plague.

Just a thought.

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Welcome and I hope you find some clarity and answers. In regards to celiac I have it and figured it out prior to my 23andMe confirming it. I cut out gluten and feel better but health wise (no pain or bloating) Maybe med adjustment will help you and you are not alone in feeling like a bother but I assure you calling your doctor will not annoy or bother them. I contact my doctors if I feel something isn’t right. I applaud you on getting your masters and hopefully med adjustment will help you get back on track.

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hey guys, thanks a lot for the answers, encouragements and tips.

I wrote an email to my psychiatrist (couldn’t have the guts to phone him). So i am waiting for him to call me.

As far as drugs goes, i don’t do drugs. I smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol, but in a “safe” quantity. I don’t overdo it because i tend to lose my brain if i am too drunk (i am not violent, but i tend to do crazy stuff like rolling on the floor, running everywhere, jump against walls etc.). I had a friend who fell into hard drugs and it completely traumatized me to see the state he was in. So I have no curiosity or desire to get wasted on drugs, be it weed or any other stuff.

I thank you deeply for your answers, it’s nice to have a comunity like this. You guys are awesome.

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So today went a little bit better than the last past few days. My psychiatrist contacted me, i have an appointment next week.

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I cut myself. I wasn’t feeling good, everything was spinning in my head, the voices got stronger and i failed to resist them. I don’t feel good about it.

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so my psychiatrist upped the dosage and added abilify 5 mg as well. But he told me he doubts i will be able to finish my studies, which plunges me in a melancholic state. The thought of not finishing my studies is killing me.

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