I made perceptual mistakes and thought I was stupid. Now, I know those mistakes were due only to being tense.
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You seem to be figuring out a lot in your old age
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I’m tense AND stupid.
I meant tense makes me stupid, when I relax, thinking is better.
I know what you mean. When I’m having anxiety I can’t think worth a crap. I think that has a lot to do with me having a hard time performing at work.
Anxiety hampers me from learning lots of things. Before I got disability I always had a tough time learning the ropes at new jobs. I always scored well on the IQ tests, so, at least according to them, I am intelligent, but I still have trouble learning certain tasks.
If you ask me, IQ test don’t mean diddlysquat to the real world.
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I had high numbers once but socially I was a 0. People said it - Kinda smart but kinda dumb. I never learned.
OK OK they want me top write more. Is this enough already?
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I reached this conclusion while drinking coffee today. The adrenaline rush seems to short curcuit any stable thoughts. I started out great. Stable. Calm. Productive. 1 cup of coffee, and I spend the rest of the day mentally screaming at myself to shut up and just work. But it didn’t work 
I wonder how many thoughts like these we get and ignore, that could potentially be life changing.
I am uncomfortable with the idea that all the mental activity we call intelligence can be reduced to a single number.