No one cares

DX'd - Other
1

That’s just how it is, I guess. People are nice enough, but I’m always the backup, the afterthought, the person people go to when none of their other friends are available. Even my family talks over me, makes fun of me, speaks ill of me behind my back. People don’t ask me how I’m doing, they deceive me so that I’ll do what they want, I get yelled at for no goddamn reason.

I can’t discuss my grief over the death of my grandpa 2 months ago, because every time I try, my mom makes it about her only. She talks about how she was with him every day, multiple times a day and how he wanted her and that she shouldered those six weeks all on her own. But the truth is that I bore the brunt of her grief, acting as her emotional punching bag because that’s what she needed me to be. I suppose that’s who she still needs me to be, and I’m just meant to sit there and take it, because if I try to leave, it only gets worse. Plus my brother sometimes joins in on the goddamn fun. And then I’m told that I shouldn’t be angry because she’s grieving. Yeah, and so am I, but guess what? No one fúcking cares. I’m always getting scolded for something.

My mom and I used to watch a lot of TV together, but apparently, she’s been telling my brother this entire time that she hates watching TV with me… Unless, of course, she’s feeling bad and needs a goddamn punching bag.

2

I kind of became my moms punching bag when my Grandfather passed away. It was hard but the parent child bond is such a strong thing. I spent a lot of time out of the house when that was going on so I could get some piece. Also, I feel you on being the backup. People don’t really invite me to things as much now that they know about my illness, its more one on one hangouts than the group anymore, which I am actually ok with because I prefer that, but I wish it was a choice.

3

That sucks. It just plain sucks. I’m assuming you live with your mom. Have you told her how you feel?

4

Hey!

Grief is a real thing…my family always emphasizes “emotion control”, meaning no one can cry in the house. It has been like this for years.

Your grief is valid, my friend. Your grief is real. You can grieve, and she cannot say anything about that. It seems like she was not even really present during the grieving process for you. Grief is different for everyone and for her to generalize grieving for you is ridiculous.

5

The beautiful thing about a punching bag is that it absorbs every punch and never gets destroyed.

6

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.