Ive been reading this book and its released so much weak energy in me bc i used to try to hard to be “nice” to everyone but in reality it was fake and weak. i realize now its not necesary, its actually harmful.
there is probably a million other books about how to be nice so maybe you should focus on that instead of pretending that you are nice when you are not.
i think you’re misunderstanding the concept. it doesnt mean ‘be mean and go get it’ it means being genuine instead of robotically saying nice things to people.
I used to try to be mr. nice guy. Society tore me apart. Now I’m much more “natural”. I’m a nice guy, but I don’t let myself be taken advantage of. I am fluid and natural now. It’s the way to be.
And remember, there is going to be an interim period, an interval, when the ego will be shattered, when you will not know who you are, when you will not know where you are going, when all boundaries will melt.
You will simply be confused, a chaos.
Because of this chaos, you are afraid to lose the ego. But it has to be so. One has to pass through the chaos before one attains to the real center.
And if you are daring, the period will be small.
If you are afraid, and you again fall back to the ego, and you again start arranging it, then it can be very, very long; many lives can be wasted.
i was a nice guy to start with even though i did some pretty crappy things when i was younger, i didnt try to hard to be nice, maybe i could have tried harder,
i went back to my faith and started believing again, it is not something that i pretended to do, it just occurred and i went along with it, i pursued it and then it really helped me, it has made me a nicer person and i am not ashamed of that, i have got the stigma of being a Christian and also of being sz, so its like a double edge sword and the devil is grasping it,
the point is that some people try too hard to be nice, maybe because they just want to be accepted or something, you shouldnt need to try to hard you should just ‘be’ nice i hear what you are saying @Flameborn and i am sorry i snapped at you but i just felt the whole stigmatize thing again,
there is another word for stigmatizing and that is persecution, i think i am being persecuted i guess, persecuted for my faith and stigmatized for my sz,
That depends on what you mean as “nice”. We all should use basic manners when interacting with others. I’ve always thought you should go along to get along, but right now I am in a situation where I will not give in no matter what. We all have our limits. I protect the things most important to me, but if there isn’t much else at stake I’m a “nice” guy.
I wasn’t always nice. Now, I’m probably too nice. I (you) just have to get mad at the right times. I think I can be assertive. I worked on a crew unloading trucks for 4 years when I was in my thirties. The rest of the crew were young guys. They teased me, intimidated me a little. But even these guys who thought they were pretty tough and cool used to always tell me that I needed to get mad.
over here in the uk, people would be embarassed if you thought them a Christian, idk what its like in America or Canada though, its like everybody doesnt want to be associated with that part of life.