Schizophrenia.com

No meds! (When possible)

When I was about 12 or 13, demons began tormenting me. I’m 48 now. I missed lots of school, didn’t have many friends, had serious sleep problems, became Bulimic, suicidal and anxious. I barely made it hrough high school, wasted a few yers in junior college, and dropped out of art school before marrying an abusive man. (I divorced him) I was fanatically religious. (I even underwent an exorcism. It didn’t work, but it was interesting) I didn’t think I was fanatical at the time, and that’s ok because God telling me not to kill myself is why I didn’t. I’ve spent much of my life keeping secrets, even, or especially, from therapists. But, when I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy three years ago, and finally told some of my secrets, it changed my life in a way nothing else had. I still have angels and demons telling me things. I still see them and feel their presence. To be honest, after so many years I believe it would be damaging to me to take them away. I have incorporated my companions in a way that allows me to function. I don’t do any drugs and I don’t drink alcohol because I believe maintaining balance is critical. I also have always refused medication the many times it has been recommended because they would take my control away, and would take away my companions. Even though I still find myself on the bathroom floor sobbing, fighting to resist commands to slice myself up with a kitchen knife, I have always made it through those episodes. I am lucky, I know. But I wonder if more people can fight/balance and make some peace on their own too.

Perhaps meds might be the proper route if you still find yourself on the floor with a knife.

That to me isn’t ‘being in control’ at all. I think you should consider it for your own mental well being.

Medication has allowed me to work, raise a family and thoroughly enjoy my life these days.

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For me it’s impossible to cope without meds. But if you made it so far, good for you.

Wish you the best.

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With out meds i would be back in hospital, and have lost the life i have now. So that you have covered to me is like a huge fear. Meds have helped give me a life, the love of my life friends a family that no longer looks at me with fear and most of all a reason to live after 23 times to end it that’s a huge win for me.

The idea…just the thought of being on the floor with a kinfe and just companions around scares the life out of me…what works for you, maybe not be working as well as you think medication may be the way for a lot of us, it maybe for you, or not.
Great for you it you can live with out them Good luck

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That part takes some getting used to… there was a time I didn’t want my voices to leave. I’ve had them for so long. Having a quiet head over the course of a few weeks… when I’ve had a full head most of my life was a very scary idea.

But eventually, with the meds… at a lower dose… with therapy on how to cope and quiet them… I became used to not relying on them… then not listening to them…

I understand having a brain change suddenly can really mess us up. But with meds… and no voices… and no hallucinations… it makes things easier.

I hope things go better for you. Good luck and be safe… :v:

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I really appreciate your insight and compassion. Thank you. I guess it doesn’t sound like I’m doing that great. I think I’m amazed that I’m still here and present pretty normally for the most part. I feel like it’s too late to try medication, and I really can’t imagine losing what is a huge part of my reality. I’m glad for you and everyone who has found a more peaceful place to exist. It’s hard to describe the experiences of schizophrenia, and having a forum where there are people who understand is comforting.

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What I didn’t include, and should have, is that I work at a job I love and maintain my job and work relationships. I am also remarried, for two years now, and it is really difficult, but it makes me work harder to be ok. I really appreciate advice and support from this forum because you all understand. I think it’s too late for me to try meds, and, yes, fear is a part of that. I do not have the full quality of a happy/peaceful life that many have, and I wish that for everyone who has experienced anything like I have…so I’m glad meds work for others. Thank you for wishing me well.

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It is never too late.
But you know what is best for you. There are some people who decide to stay off meds ( including my son ).
Good that you are doing CBT. I would love my son to do this.
Come to this site often. It has been a lifeline for me.**

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Congratulations on finding a job you like and having a new chance at love.

There are people on here who don’t take meds…

But they do go to CBT and have a good support system in place and find other ways to cope.

For me… I need the meds… I was lucky in that my docs found a combo that works well for me.

I know others aren’t that lucky. Even if you don’t take meds… don’t give up on other ways to stay healthy.

Good luck

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If I went off of my meds, in about 6 months I’d be walking down the freeway buck naked screaming at the cameras in the sky.

I accept that I’m a ‘lifer’ on medication. The dose however might be able to be reduced down the road…or at least I hope so.

This forum is a great resource that I wish I had found sooner. My son also has schizophrenia but remains undiagnosed and intends to stay unmedicated. He’s 21 and I worry about him, but he’s doing better than I was at his age. I wish your son all the best, bridgecomet!

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