I just read that everytime you go into psychosis you lose IQ points. Idk if you’ve read it, but I posted about my full blown meth induced psychosis that really ■■■■■■ me up… Ever since after that I haven’t been able to do the things in my head that I used to… Like have convos with god. Or Eminem. Or even think right because my mind just isn’t capabale of thinking the way I used to…
Idk what my point is here. I guess I’m just realizing my last psychosis was so strong it really ■■■■■■ my mind up and now I feel incapable of doing any real thinking. I used to think to myself all the time “you have a beautiful mind”… Thoughts just came to me naturally. Now I have to force myself to think… And its usually never a pretty thought.
Now I’m depressed… What do you think?
Its like I have a really boring type of SZ where I don’t have some crazy delusions that keep me busy and entertained… I have the really unbareable type that constantly makes me think about how stupid I am and about how I don’t think right like I’m almost mentally retarded. I think those thoughts while thought broadcasting them to everyone so everyone around me also knows I’m pretty much mentally ■■■■■■■ retarded. Damn I’m realizing how bad my situation / life really ■■■■■■■ sucks.
I pretty much have that myself. I did a boat load of lsd and dxm the first 2 years of college, even after having mental difficulties and its been really worrying me that ive turned my brain into mush. Even being sober and right now i only have a month ive had everything from suicidal depression, mania and psychosis and panic attacks. Its been really hard to formulate thoughts like the rest of the people i know seem to be able to. I can barely pay attention, barely can listen and basically forget entire conversations. But i just try to be grateful for the times when i can. When the thoughts start flowing and i seem to be on my game. Whether ive permanently messed up my brain from suicide to drug trips is up to a greater power but at this point in my life i stay sober and try working the steps in AA to help me stay away from drugs. Because if im truly mentally ill without drugs is out of my control, but i know for sure im a sick psycho when im drugged up. What helps for me when i seem to be losing my mind is to try and accept my situation and surround my people who actually give a damn about me. And im so blessed to have found people through my schools recovery center and AA that really care about me. But i also know isolation. I know that feeling that maybe no one will ever give a damn about me again. It hurts and is a shitty feeling. But u have to keep fighting even when u think uve completely lost ur mind. Even when u think ending it is the only option. U have to work for ur own needs in ur life to make u a better person and take steps to do so. Feeling like uve lost ur head sucks but ur still here so u can still make something that works for u. Work on ur own needs even when u think u can’t mentally do so. Ive told myself ive made myself stupid so many times and in the end i end up surprising myself that i can actually function and do things if i just take care of myself physically and mentally. Ive been rambling but its been an exhausting day for me but i hope any of this long rant is helpful. Stay strong
I was floridly psychotic most of the time a couple of decades back. Now I pass for a neurotypical and I’m extremely high-functioning. I’ve put a lot of time and effort into doing cognitive rehab to get my brain back into shape. Basically, I push myself mentally every day. Read something. Learn something. Do a puzzle. Etc. I went from struggling to read a paragraph to reading entire books in a sitting.
It’s frustrating at first, but a near recovery from SZ is possible.
Thanks for the reply. Its nice to know someone is going through a similar situation… Its nice to read what a positive attitude you try to keep too. Trust me when I start thinking on track finally again… I get so emotional. I thank god and I tell myself how proud I am and how that was the old me coming back for a min, that I’m still here I’m just a little lost. If that makes sense? You didn’t ramble and I enjoyed your response. Thank you. I wish you the best of luck too. Are you on any meds btw?
What is floridly psychotic and what is neurotypical, if you don’t mind me asking? Thanks for the hope you just gave me too, by the way! And congrats on your improvements and hard work!
Yea everyone will “get lost” with themselves. Just know ur not damaged or faulty and that the feeling of brain dead will pass. And yea. Im on lithium, zyprexa, welbutrin, and adderall. And for once i can say besides caffeine nicotine and sugar those r the only drugs im on
I’m on Geodon twice daily. Used to also take Effexor as a mood-stabilizer, but that can really mess with QT intervals when combined with Geodon. I went back to using nicotine (vaping) to cope. There are too many stupid people out there that I’m not allowed to club with a NERF bat, so I needed some sort of alternate coping method.
Full-blown psychosis – no connection to reality for extended periods. Neurotypical is what we with autism (I have that too) refer to normal people as. You’ll also hear them referred to as ‘normies’ here.
Damn you’re on adderall? I would kill for an Addie prescription… Lol probably shouldn’t say that since amphetamines would probably trigger me… But who know, I bet there’s a 50% chance they might help. They would help me focus and think better and more clear and quickly.
Congrats on being sober though.
I’ve tried zyprexa before, and lithium. I’ve tried a bunch of meds actually. But I didn’t have a good Dr or a good understand of what was going on with me so I didn’t really get the medical advice/ help I needed .
Now I’m wondering if there’s a chance I could ever get prescribed adderall haha
there was a stude don on sz how it causes inflammation in the brain and the gila instead of repair get overworked and cause more harm. it said aspirin and gingko biloba help the gila repair so your brain cognitively can function better. the two also showed improvement in alzheimer when used daily.
I was considered gifted as a child. As I got older and the disease progressed, it honestly felt like holes in my head. I was struggling to even read and write (two things I do very, very frequently). But here’s the thing… It does get better if you work at it, and for me the medicine helped tremendously. You have to be able to push yourself and set and achieve goals for yourself. Start small, don’t bite off more than you can chew. With persistence and good willpower you can accomplish a large amount of what you would like to do in life.
This disease doesn’t have to be a death sentence. I believe in you.
I wish you the best of luck too. Are you on any meds btw?