I agree with this, but you can’t remove addiction-forming behavior from video games.
RPGs have random drops for instance, which is like playing the slots for kids. Also, multiplayer games in general have finely tuned task / reward ratios that make lengthy gaming addictive.
Gaming is not the cause of that addictive behavior, it’s the symptom. Kids are bored out of their mind and under-stimulated by the school system, and parents are failing to recognize this and guide them towards productive tasks, just relying on the computer or game console to babysit them.
Bad parenting is to blame.
So many things get blamed on parenting. But you’re missing a crucial element. There is a social aspect to participating in games, and playing MMOs with school friends. Nobody talks to the weird kid who isn’t allowed to play video games, and they wind up experiencing depression and isolation, and resenting their parents for not letting them socialize outside of school.
If the kid were to have a creative outlet, like computer programming, that would be tremendous for his career prospects and curbing addictive behavior. People who have addictive habits are usually craving mental stimulation, and games are a poor solution to that.
I’m saying this as a lifelong gamer, even. I wish my parents pushed me towards programming earlier.
I think it’s very easy for people to judge parents from the outside. When I had the babies, I swore I would not give them screens until they were 2. Well, two weeks into it, I was begging them to sit still and watch TV for a while just so I could get some peace and quiet. Raising kids is harder than it looks, and parents NEED something that will keep the kids occupied for some length of time. Even at 13, Starlet is very demanding and requires a lot of one-on-one attention. If Mr. Star and I want to have an adult conversation, we need him to have something to occupy his time. Teaching kids how to manage their own schedules is important, and sets them up for a more successful adulthood. The adults I know who were constantly put into fifteen different extracurricular activities made it to college and then burnt out because they didn’t know what to do when they didn’t have a rigidly enforced schedule. The kids like me, who were told “as long as you get your work done, you can decide what to do with your free time” tend to do better in the long term. They make their scheduling errors as kids, and then learn how to manage time.
That’s respectable, letting the kids decide their earned leisure.
15 extracurriculars seems a bit much. I feel you’re exaggerating, but one or two extracurriculars doesn’t seem that counterproductive. It could spark a lifelong passion in something.
I’m really not. Some parents think a kid needs an extracirricular for every day of the week, two a day on weekends. Starlet has a friend like this, and the boy is a nightmare to deal with. I would guess it’s because he has no control over his own life, and seeks control wherever he can get it, usually at our house.
That’s bordering on narcissistic. Kid needs a break.
There were obviously no computer games when I was a toddler/child . However there was TV . I apparently watched a lot of TV that was available at that time. Obviously that pales in comparison to what can be watched now , but it goes to show that children and having a lot of time watching a screen is not just a modern phenomenon .
Well the kid’s parents are likely responding to judgment they see being passed over other parents for letting their kids stay home and play video games. I know a few parents like this. It’s hard to figure out the right balance to strike to give your kid the best chance to succeed, and it greatly depends on the kid. Unfortunately, parents (especially mothers) have to fend off judgment from so many outside sources.
My parents let me play all the video games I wanted providing I wasn’t failing in school and kept up with things like stacking wood and keeping my room clean. My parents let me make my own mistakes. Is that good or bad? I don’t know. Maybe in a future dystopian society that thing called parenting will come with an instruction manual.
If I were my parents and our roles were reversed? Hmm! I think I would be just as a novice as they were.
Too much video games. Too much TV. Too much late night cellphone talkie. I think there are worse things a child could be doing than loot boxes.
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