Today I have to go and meet a new pDoc. I’m nervous about it because I’m seeing visions VERY frequently (or movies…whatever you want to call them) It sucks to not feel up to snuff the first time you meet a new pDoc. I’m scared she will put me in the hospital. That happened to me one other time on a first appt. The doc listened to me and said, “Do you realize you are completely psychotic?” and bang, there go the doors in the hospital locking me in. I really cannot bear to go into the hospital now. She will probably wait and see what happens. I hope so.
It’s been a year and three months since my last hospital stay…it seems like I can’t get through a year or a little more without being locked up Maybe I’m just having a bad week.
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Good luck with doc appointment
Perhaps you could open up to her be honest and express how u feel and your fears
Think to yourself that she might be a good doc
I learned a trick when faced with possible hospitalization and didn’t feel it would help.
If you can, Say you have no insurance and already owe the hospital thousands and can’t pay.
It works every time for me and most homeless people also.
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**Good luck-I bet you will do fine 
**
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The PDoc asked a lot of questions. She never once cracked a smile but seemed nice enough. She increased my Loxapine dose to almost the highest dose possible. (200 mg) We’ll see if that will help. One tihng I was grateful for was she started talking about depression and mania. I told her those emotions are not a problem with me…it is mostly the SZ end of it that is problematic. And she took me at my word…did not try to persist with the same liine of thinking that she had been. I think she will be okay. And another good thing is that she did not try to talk me into getting therapy (which I can’t afford) We shall see. But I am feeling better about it.