This is my first post here - I’ve been reading some of the posts for a while, but I’m a little paranoid about posting stuff online. But something’s been bothering me for a while now, and I’d really like some opinions, if you’d be so kind.
I was diagnosed with a schizophrenia spectrum disorder after a brief hospital stay last year. My doctor firmly believes that I had active psychosis, and has put me on a heavy dosage of anti-psychotics.
The way I experienced my symptoms, I’m still not convinced that I had psychosis. Basically, the primary symptom that the doctor looked at as evidence of my schizophrenic disorder was that I would have really strong intrusive thoughts every day about the FBI coming to interrogate me because I was getting in people’s heads. However, I didn’t actually hear those thoughts as voices, and I always knew it wasn’t true. I also had intense fear about having a corrupted head and contaminating everyone, but the reason I thought I had a corrupted head was the intrusive thoughts. Similarly, I did some stupid things because I felt “fake,” but the reason I felt fake again went back to those intrusive thoughts.
After some googling, it seems to me like what I have is more like OCD, but I’m so torn. On one hand, with the antipsychotics my symptoms have gone away, which makes me think my doctor is right. Plus, there are so many coincidences - the content of my intrusive thoughts just happen to be a typical schizophrenic delusion, I just happen to have problems with eye focus (which is genetically linked to schizophrenia), I happen to have been described as having that stereotypical “blank” look, and I happen to pace all the time? On the other hand, I’ve read so many things about doctors over-medicating patients who don’t really need it, and I feel like I might be one of them. I’ve tried repeatedly to discuss this with my doctor, but whenever I start saying I think I might not be psychotic he calls it “psychotic ambivalence” or “lack of insight.” I’d go for a second opinion, but my parents fund my therapy, and I don’t want to have another argument with them.
So anyways, that’s a little about my story. I obviously don’t know whether I belong here or not, but I’m excited to meet you all nonetheless!
Welcome to our forums. The doctors and researchers I’ve talked to generally say that people shouldn’t get too caught up on the diagnosis issue. Your diagnosis will likely change or be modified over the years as you get new doctors, and as you change and get treatments and therapies. Diagnoses are simple buckets that don’t fully capture the spectrum of symptoms and individual experiences - but they help to prescribe courses of action and treatment.
The important thing is how you are doing. Are you more able to achieve what you want to?, are you enjoying life more? Are you able to work or go to school or at least do volunteer work?
Focus on your progress towards these issues - and you’ll do well. If still aren’t then work with your doctor and let them know so that you are. And also get therapy - because the most best outcomes are usually from people who do both.
Psychosis is any form of lost contact with reality, voices, visions, thoughts - ALL can be psychosis - I was diagnosed with psychosis and then later, schizophrenia [as I had no prior psychotic episodes and my symptoms worsened progressively over months.]
First few doctors I saw didn’t want to diagnose anything else, mainly because most mental health issues are a process of elimination and not a dead cert ‘oh, he or she has this because of this’ - It’s more deciphering the whole thing and finding a fitting description medically, which again, most doctors don’t like. Mental health is hugely grey so it’s no wonder. Thoughts of being watched or hunted by authority are commonly linked to psychosis and the variants of schizophrenia, specifically paranoid schizophrenia, while you might not have that, you do, from description, have some form of psychosis.
We all have a place here, I’m fairly new and post in bursts but the people are supportive, funny, caring and beautiful. This place helps me a great deal, I’m sure it will you too
Wow - did not expect to get responses so quickly! Thanks for the kind words. And yes, I’m doing 10,000 times better than I was last year, so I suppose the best thing is to not spend all my time worrying whether I have psychosis or not and concentrate on keeping myself feeling well.
You have no idea how scared I was to post here - but you guys are so friendly! Nice to know I now have that supportive community.
Welcome
Is a great group of poeple here for the most part just a short welcome as i got class haha is going to be so bad
but sill welcome welcome form the Derpy faerie
Hey and welcome This is a great community, hope you’ll find the help you need.
I wouldn’t focus so much on the diagnosis but more on the treatment, is it effective? Are you still delusional?
We are not doctors, so we can’t diagnose but I don’t think people with OCD think about the FBI so much…
Again, I would focus on the treatment efficiency.
