The new doc is so suspicious, I felt he was more suspicious than me
He asked me how am I doing, I said all good but only some memory issues, he said explain, and I said what ever i studied i forget, then he says all forget.
Then after that I had an old slip of consulting then he said this is not the right branch, I need to go to a different sector.
Sometimes I feel i dont have sz it was just induced.
I think there is a possibility of complete recovery, but some delusions are present, I think even normal people have it, like after watching a movie, they feel its so real story.
Is sz life long i wonder now ?
I am not either here or there in the lable of sz.
I dont belong anywhere
What the … is wrong with me then?
One way its good i forget everything, i am just surviving.
After my 1st psychosis I did so well on Abilify that my Dr took me off meds. But after 2yrs I relapsed and was hospitalized. I was never functional again as before since then.
I am on AP since 11 years, but in the start i was off the chart in character, i stopped and quit my masters, then within 3 years gap I got a job as well, was perfoming well.
I dont want this to happen, so its best to stay with meds.
And yeah have mutiple gaps in my career so no one would give a job.
Now i am lost wonder what i am even talking about, wait let me read this again.
a b c, i am so sorry you are hurting like that. maybe it would help i f you tried to just enjoy yourself with something and forget your troubles for awhile i think the drs and therapists are really as lost as we are with curing sz. but cheer up there are some out there that have made beautiful lives for themselves and others. it does get better. judy
