On my paperwork there is a new disorder listed- narcissistic personality disorder in adult.
It is scary, but after reading some I feel better and believe that therapy and self work will help. It turns out that narcissistic disorder can be from trauma and is a coping mechanism.
I once had a pdoc write in my notes that I was a “very dependent narcissist” . This was the kind of abusive behaviour I was subjected to for seeking more help and support. It’s that kind of professional abuse along with being seen as ''awkward,demanding and troublesome" that puts one off being open with mental health professionals. Such professionals should be permanently struck off.