I’ve been doing research into Cluster B personality disorders and I think this explains so much.
I think it started as a coping mechanism to deal with (what was at the time) untreated major depression and to make sense of my delusions of grandiosity.
I’m going to talk to my pdoc about it in our next appointment.
I was 100% a lying douche before I cleaned up. And I’ve had to work hard at honesty because lying is the fastest path back to the bottle and the miserable life that comes with. Not a single one of us is perfect, but if you can be just a bit better of a person today than you were yesterday, that’s #WINNING. Then just do it over again the next day.
Personality disorders are extremely fixed and hard to change. I thought at one point I had BPD with narcisstic tendencies. Turned out I was surrounding myself with bad people. Once I got away those behaviors ceased.
A narcissist most likely won’t admit they’re a narcissist or even consider it.
I’ve had to put in a lot of work to get where I am now, for sure. I dunno, as soon as I saw the symptom criteria it just really clicked with me, like a total ahah moment. The same one I had when I was DX’d sza