Never giving up

This is directed towards the older people on this site. Do you think it’s paid off to never give up?

I’m pretty much at the end of my rope

yes, good motto…I am 55 and when I was first diagnosed I lost hope for life with losing my career in architecture to schizophrenia. I attempted twice to kill myself over the next couple of years back in 1999 and then again in 2000… I didn’t do it finally after the second time because I figured God had a plan for me…now I cry when I’m really happy because I realized if I had been successful in my attempts that I never would have known that I could be happy later…in 2007 I found my wife on this site (the older forum) and was happily married for six years. Ever since I haven’t been ecstaticly happy but I am happy enough to know that life can change on a dime…it might be a new med, or a new chapter in love down the road for you…yes…never give up !!

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Yeah. Being positive has opened me up to some crazy opportunities that I would never have done if I’d done the regular things I did. Getting on meds was a really good move for me and my brain. It really was.

I’ve been broken badly a couple of times. But I get back up and move on with things. Be postive. It makes a diffeerence!

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thank you for the reply. So basically you are saying is that nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future.(positive things can happen in the future)

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thank you for your reply

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this situation will pass. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I been through the same thing. This won’t last forever. keep posting if you need help

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You are saying the same thing. right? things can happen in the future.

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Yes. They certainly can and you can’t know what is in store. Meantime concentrate on the now and lose all regret. Life can be hard but it doens’t have to be!

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Giving up is harder than pressing forward.

My first two years after being diagnosed I felt like giving up all the time because I had no improvement. I felt hopeless but it was my dad who is mainly responsible for keeping me going and thus saving my life. He wouldn’t let me give up, he kept me going just by his will. I suffered terribly those years (like everybody else). First, a year at a group home and next an 8 month stay in a hospital. The only progress I made at the group home was when I dropped my denial and realized that everybody else was not crazy and it was me who had mental problems and not everybody else.

But anyways, i survived two years of hell at the beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I was psychotic and miserable and probably legally insane (in a harmless way) but I still went out to restaurants with my family. I went for walks, I talked to people, I enjoyed looking at pretty women, I had people who liked me (surprisingly). I even went jogging by myself downtown when the homeless and gangbangers were still in their beds sleeping.

But yeah, after I survived those first two years i moved into a nice group home and my recovery started. And life got a little better. And I started functioning and doing productive things.

But here’s a list of the things i have done despite this disease.

If I had given up I would have missed out on these things:

Going water skiing for the first time
Going on a Jet-ski for the first time
Flying on a jet airliner for the first time
Flying coast to coast (and back) on a plane, several times
Having my sexy step-sister make a serious pass at me when I was visiting her in W.Virginia. (the second time I had ever seen her)
Going camping
Being best man at my dads wedding and making the toast in the reception in the hotel room after the ceremony in front of twenty strangers. And pulling it off and not embarrassing myself.
Dating some.
Having a girlfriend who was cute and sweet and liked me.
Going to countless restaurants and movies
Being a park ranger for almost two years
Attending college
Hitting all the hole-in-the-wall record stores in Berzerkly and San Francisco with a friend
Having friends
Having various adventures in my drug addiction but getting clean and sober (thank god)
Visiting my nephew when he was a baby and getting a big smile from him (before he grew up into a sullen, wise-ass teenager)

I could go on and on.
And on.

But I only did these things because I kept going, I did not give up.
I’ve had my productive years and I would like more. I had a friend this year and for months we went out to coffee and hung around on the University campus near me, and ate out and just kind of had conversations about life and our past experiences. I spent 2016 in a board & Care home because of a relapse, triggered by my moms death. But I learned a lot there about myself, other people and life.

Now I am living in a nice two bedroom apartment that I got through an agency. It is basically independent living but we have a couple of counselors we can call in emergencies.

Of course it pays to not give up. Fortunes can change on a dime.

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For the first ten years of this disease I suffered so much but I never gave up and am so glad I fought. I am so much happier now and managing my symptoms and enjoying life as much as I can with SZ

I am glad I kept fighting to get well and love now being stable

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