Need help from my sza peeps

DX'd - Other
1

Peeps is such a cute word. Sorry not sorry. :hatching_chick:

Anyways, I’ve started taking lithium. Last time I had significant weight gain and I was still symptomatic. We’ve gone to a lower dose and I feel a lot better and more even.

The problem is it’s messing with my emotions.

I started to wonder if I didn’t love C. Then I was afraid he didn’t love me. I tried to log into his facebook. No good. I texted him and apologized, partially because I knew he would find out and partially because I was sorry I have trust issues. This whole day I’ve felt dissatisfied with him. Like I didn’t love him.

Now I think at least some of it might be because my lithium scheduled is out of wack. I’ve been sleeping all day and up all night. I don’t feel a manic high and I don’t feel a depressed low. I feel holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit.

I’m upset, reassured, angry, jealous, and happy all at the same time. I was moody and sad earlier but now I don’t think my emotions even know which way they’re going. My Aunt used a metaphor for life like this:

You want to be hovering in between. You need to be walking down your path. We don’t want you climbing those mountains over there and we really don’t want you to throw yourself into that chasm over there. Just keep on the middle way. Keep on your path.

I’m not on any mountains and I’m not in a valley. I can’t say I’m walking on my path either. I’d have to say that I’m drunkenly staggering around unable to go either up, down, or forward. Going back is (of course) not an option for anyone.

What on earth is going on!?

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Good luck with your med switch. I still think the same thing as before. You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your behavior if you work extra hard at it. Obviously, that won’t work all the time, but it can help in the short term. I hope the meds help stabilize you and don’t just keep you drunk. They should settle down in a few weeks as you get used to them.

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Yeah, what cj said was what I was going to say, let the meds stabilize. You need to do some of the work too, when I’m manic I try to calm myself down with breathing exercises. When I’m depressed I listen to music. But to each their own so basically you need to find coping skills for your issues.

Go and take a walk on a park when you’re feeling “holyshit”

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