That most of the time her clients do most of the talking but she feels she has to guide me or i wont talk. She said shes going to stop leading and got quiet. I got so panicked i started hallucinating, and told her that, but the rest of the session wasnt productive because i was hallucinating badly. I havent seen her since, that was a few weeks ago, but i think im ready to try again, i see her today.
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Sorry that this is stressing you out. 
You said you have autism, right? My husband is autistic. He was seeing a therapist who was focused on autism, and I was with him for the second and third time he saw the therapist. Hubby only talked when the therapist asked a direct question. He’s not good at carrying a conversation, most of the time.
I wonder if you have the same issue? Maybe your therapist would be more understanding if you said you don’t talk much because of autism? (If you do have it. I don’t always remember things correctly.)
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Yes i am diagnosed with autism and feel that contributes a lot to it
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I always feel at a loss for words when I’m talking with my therapist. It’s never comfortable for me to have a face to face conversation by video or in person. So I a lot of the time don’t say what I’m thinking. My psychiatrist diagnosed me on the autism spectrum many years ago. Online I’m much better because I just type out my thoughts.
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I think theres a lot of factors to it for me and autism stuff is only one. Im open to exploring potential resistance occuring, it happens a lot and you arent usually aware of it.
Therapy went really well. My therapist gave me this rock to help ground myself when i start feeling delusional or hallucinate. Ive used it a few times today and its incredibly useful
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i also have rocks and a plushy toy that i always keep with me to keep me grounded. It’s like for me that plushy keeps me in this world… without it i would be swallowed into the darkness.
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Its amazing how helpful they can be! My boyfriend got me a grookey from build a bear with a voice box in it telling me i am safe for when i get a ptsd trigger and it has helped so much!
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