Maybe just identify with others who quit feeling sorry for themselves. I do that- it makes me end up hanging out with more aggressive people. Like people who lift weights, work hard, study hard, don’t make excuses. I know some people who dropped out of college because they did drugs and drank and cut class, then blame something, anything else. I avoid them. They like to talk about “the man” and “the system” and honestly that gets them nowhere. I see life with schizophrenia as do or die- get better and function normally or live a life that is not worth living. I’ve lived the life that was not worth living, it was exactly what it sounds like- I attempted suicide.
Now I don’t play games and mean business about everything I do. I give all or nothing. In the summers, you can find me laying on the couch or in the gym doing crazy ■■■■ or out socializing and appearing perfectly normal, in fact above average in normal people standards. Like today I cleaned up a mess of paperwork and clothes and old school crap and then layed on the couch for two hours playing with my phone, then went to the gym with a friend, talked to someone on the phone for two hours, then went out with some friends, now my friend is sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Pretty normal day off, but it is due to strict medication adherence, caffeine and effort. I got faint while working out, every time I stood up from the leg press machine I felt like I was going to faint. Gotta grit your teeth. Socializing can be hard, gotta keep conversations going. You get my point.
Being a badass, knowing you are a badass and bending schizophrenia over is what I am all about. Some kid at the YMCA today was like “how much weight is that? You just did that ten times?” and I was like “Yeah, I’ve been doing this for years. that was five hundred pounds.”
You’ve just got to learn that no pain = no gain. I was awkward and hated socializing at first, now I need it, for example…