The simulation is starting to ramp up in intensity again. My clothes feel funny on my skin. Everything looks and sounds different. Maybe they’re making it worse on me again. Hearing the voices a little bit too telling me negative things. Very frustrated right now. First time hearing voices in about a week.
1 Like
sorry you are feeling this way Dreamer, if i were you i’d keep my support close and hopefully that will help,
also if i felt really bad that i couldnt cope then i wouldn’t rule out checking into a clinic on a voluntary basis, i wouldn’t be ashamed to do that until i felt well enough
2 Likes
Thanks. I know I’m in a simulation, but the distortion is worse right now. I always have the distortion to some degree. I’m not at a point where I need to check myself in. I’m safe. Listening to music to distract myself. The voices are just making me on edge.
If your current meds don’t work out then you should consider going back on Clozapine as you said you were doing well on that. Something to consider anyway.
2 Likes
I see my new psychiatrist Thursday. I’m going to discuss the Clozaril among other things. I did forget to take my risperdal last night though.
1 Like
My symptoms included belief I was in a sim and derealization from anxiety. Derealization makes things look unreal and I was dissociated. It gets better. Some meds made my symptoms worse. Have you looked into derealization? I had depersonalization too.
3 Likes
@insidemind My old psychiatrist mentioned that I had mild derealization/dissociation. But every minute of everyday I at least have the distorted vision. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
I had that for 5+ years. I’m not sure what the cause is. Mine was from panic attacks from a bad trip 7 years ago. Have you heard of dpselfhelp? It’s a forum for people suffering from dp/dr.
I took a lot of supplements. I think Topamax helped me the most. I was diagnosed with chronic migraines. Migraines can cause derealization but it’s so rare I think. It’s probably something else for you…and myself included.
I’ve read some people get it from traumatic experiences. Others from marijuana. Schizophrenia can cause it too but I’m not so sure.
Mine was so, so severe. At one time, I remember grass looking like crystals. I couldn’t see outside my head. It felt like my eye balls were inside my head/skull.
My derealization is 99% cured most days. I was never able to quit energy drinks which worsen anxiety.
Well I smoked marijuana heavily in my teens. I have a history of abuse in my childhood. And I have sza.
Every minute of everyday I see shadowy lines floating everywhere. I also have a hallucination that causes the floors and walls to “breathe.” As in the move up and down like your chest does when you breathe. Both of these happen every second of every day
2 Likes
Sorry about that @Dreamer I hope you feel better. Maybe do check out a clinic out like @daydreamer said. We all go through our personal hell here. I feel being watched by others and thinking intrusive thoughts. I just want peace of mind. I pray for better thoughts.
2 Likes
Thanks. I’m not bad enough to check myself into the hospital and I see my psychiatrist and therapist on Thursday. Going to see about getting back on Clozaril.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I have memories too but I cannot judge or tell if they are real. Some I know are 100% real but in a past life/alternative reality.
Some of the stuff you described sounds like schizophrenia. But most people with DP/DR are not schizophrenic. A lot of them are worried they are going crazy but they are not. I guess I’m one of the unlucky ones who got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’m pretty low functioning.
I’m just a random person, but I believe your derealization is not from schizophrenia but from other stuff. I pretty much cured my derealization and still have schizophrenia. Did you know a lot of prominent people (scientists and even billionaires) believe we live in a sim?
I’ve been obsessed with this topic for years ever since I got sick. It’s fine to believe or think about until it causes problems or disturbances. The APs probably will help a lot. I’m on Vraylar and feel better on it than off of it.
1 Like
It’s ok.
It doesn’t usually cause too much of a disturbance, it just makes everything distorted sometimes. Although at times it’s very distressing, especially when the voices are there as well. The AP’s do help, but the ones I’m on aren’t as effective as Clozaril was, so I’m going to see about going back on it at my pdoc appointment on Thursday.
1 Like
The thoughts you’re having about the simulation is a delusion. Maybe increasing your meds will help. There’s a difference between thinking reality might be a simulation (like a theory) and actually believing it’s a simulation in a delusional manner.
Try to be around supportive people. Also see if you can see your pdoc soon. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this @Dreamer. I hope you’re better soon.
1 Like
Thank you. I see my pdoc on Thursday.
1 Like
I’ve had the thing where the walls and ceiling look like they’re breathing. I don’t have a lot of visuals though. Sorry you’re going through so much, man. I think talking to your pdoc about the Clozaril is a good idea.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 7 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.