My mother told me I was unwanted

I guess that’s why I am evil. I went numb. I’m sorry about my unpopular thread.

You are spending your whole life living in the past.

My parents had their flaws, but I’ve moved on. Start living in the present and you’ll find a more cheerful disposition I guarantee.


I’m afraid I’ll just be unwanted all over again.

My parents had a girl and then two boys. I was the 4th.

My mother wanted 2 boys and 2 girls. She told me I was supposed to be a girl.

That comment never traumatized me. I couldn’t care less as I had no say in the matter.

You’ve never had children of your own, Chordy. If you did, your own parents’ transgressions would simply be an afterthought. You’ve had the luxury of pointing the finger your whole life with little responsibility.

Keep the past where it belongs…in the past.

I hate voices. I withdraw from them. I wake up every morning with no love for life. I know I am unappreciative. I can’t help the way I feel.

You have so much on the ball…you’re humorous on many occasions…insightful…intelligent…etc.

You just have to break free from your past. It serves you no purpose to continually go there.


You have to take the bad with the good.

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I used to be stuck in the past.

I understand that you were told as an unwanted child. Your parents might have materially provide for their children, though have never catered for your emotional needs.

“You were unwanted”. What a powerful words. While I think your mother has the rights to say it, it might not be a right thing to say. It could cause negative effects during our upbringing.

Nevertheless, you and I have the free will to choose our lifestyle, and the responsibility to take care of ourselves.

Sending positive vibes to you, @chordy.


Thank you for your kind words, @Norlane That is a helpful response.

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I am just trying to help but I wonder if it hurts more if she was dysfunctional in other ways toward you in life that caused a lifetime of pain. If she were to say those words to you maybe she was bad in a lot of other ways to you but honestly at thid point I might be projecting as I am dealing with my own mother issues at the moment.

I remember my mom saying when I was 5 “I wish I never had kids”–it was said to all of us kids— and that stayed with me for years but also she was kind of an immature person in a lot of ways throughout her life…its to the point now I don’t even talk to my mom.

Yes, she said that she wanted an abortion but the doctor said no. (It was before abortion was legal.). She was withdrawn and very angry if disturbed. I was afraid to have a need.

There’s something I think you might be able to take away from something I heard recently.

Everyone is living with their own tragedies, try to work towards resolving whatever inner conflict this is causing you.

To me this seems to be something you’re fixated on so go over it with a therapist. Try to dig into why this matters to you. We can’t collectively therapute you through a trauma we aren’t professionals we don’t know how to do it humanely, let alone productively.

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Yes. I realize it’s inappropriate to rant on the forum.

she said you are unwanted, so can you don’t recognized her as your TRUE mother. i would throw this back at her if i were you and tell her neither did i want her to be my mother.
1st of all, not ALL parents are always right.
2nd: not parents knows how to love correctly
correct and healthy love is both ways, both parties are to give and receive, if only one is giving overwhelming more than the other than it’s deemed as unhealthy relationship and i would recommend abandoning this relationship or invest far lesser than what you are doing now.
RESPECT needs to be earned not given
if you respect someone which you shouldn’t then the one who would be hurted is you.

Not judging your situation but my dad told me having us three kids was the best thing he ever did in his life.

This may be pop psychology but do you think being smaller than most people affected you negatively and that’s part of your anger? I would assume you got picked on and a lot of petite adult women get treated like kids and it can cause anger and frustration.

Yes. I hated being small. And my best friend and neighbor growing up was tall. I suffered that. My mother got very angry when I once told her I thought I was too small to be a serious piano player.

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