My head is heating up with fire 🔥

What to do ? to get rid of this negative energy?

I have so much anger. It seems it is getting triggered around 5 pm every evening when there is my medication withdrawal.
I just took an Ativan and preparing to go to the gym for my Zumba class. One hour of dancing should help me.

I am so angry, I should do kick boxing or something.

My therapy went well. She taught me some mindfulness techniques which are very difficult to practice because my reaction is emotional. It is so tough to practice these, to actually step back, create a space between emotions and reaction and choose how to react to a situation because I am getting very aggressive.

Other than that, I finally applied to volunteer at a group home for mentally ill. I called, some strange people talked on the phone, the guy on the phone could not take notes for me, it was a weird experience. I emailed the director so I will give it a week until I call them again.

Three times gym, I will add one more day in the coming months, so 4 x gym per week. I am already a lot smaller, I am fitting in my skinny jeans, but still have a long way to go to get fit with a healthy body.

I am planning a trip somewhere, I am still contemplating on where to go depending on the budget. Flying all inclusive from here to Cuba is like 600 bucks per person for 8 nights of food and alcohol. I can easily book that but all my friends told me it is the worst place to go because the food is horrible and the hotels are dirty.

I am still contemplating on what to gift him, it will take some time.

My therapist also discussed with me how I should improve my communication, more than this?! She said, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, yeah I know but how to get my boyfriend to open up and express himself so we can fix our problems is beyond my control.

I am waiting for a miracle, first to heal myself and forget about this resentment, move on with my life and second: Have a healthy relationship with the guy I love.


It’s getting colder in Canada so increasing your days at the gym might improve your overall health but it’s a lot harder to sweat and burn the calories.

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I use to do boxing for my anger but I think it was a bad decision on my part because I broke my nose. Kickboxing is real good though.

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Everywhere is heated and I go by car.

I am doing Bikram hot yoga twice a week and Zumba once a week. I think Thursdays I will start my swimming class.
I need to measure myself though because the scale is not budging.

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When I quit cloneazepam I had anger that came out of nowhere. It could be inter dose withdrawal as atvian has a very short half life.

Switch to cloneazepam as it has a much longer half life.

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I am seeing my pdoc on 8th next week.

I will ask him for an anxiety medication for the second time.

They are transferring me to a new hospital in my town, so let’s see how long it will take.

This anger was hidden after trauma and it hit me again in 2015 when I decreased my medication, suddenly I got PTSD and honestly it is so sad to admit that I am in this state of mind since January 2015. I have not improved since then.

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I’m confused. Atvian is for anxiety. You mean it’s not working?

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I mean something which I will take everyday not a benzo, something like Zoloft or Buspirone. I want an add on medication. Do you think I should stay on Ativan? Everyone is advising against Ativan.

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I Don’t think you should stay on atvian. It’s for short term use only (2-3 months max)

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yeah so I am already on Wellbutrin and Geodon. I need another to control the anxiety. Maybe I should switch from Wellbutrin to Zoloft. I am not sure but willing to take chances because really my situation is pathetic with this resentment.

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