I just found out that she has a mass they found in her colonoscopy that will have to be removed by surgery. She is really scared. I am going to ask Angie if I can talk to her while she is there from now on since she may be dying…wish me luck…Angie gets home in an hour and I hope she doesn’t blow a gasket me asking to keep in touch with Nancy.
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I’m so sorry. I hope Angie will be understanding.
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nope, she’s throwing a fit…might leave me…Idk what to do…she says I shouldn’t still be talking to Nancy but I only stayed in touch with her because I worry…maybe I was wrong but I don’t feel wrong about it…needless to say, now I can’t talk to Nancy and that might be a problem…idk idk idk…
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It would be great if Angie felt secure enough in your relationship for you to be talking to your ex-wife in her time of need but obviously she doesn’t so you simply can’t talk to your ex-wife. Angie’s feelings take priority.
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I’m sorry this has happened to your ex-wife. Maybe you could sit down with Angie and have a heart to heart with her. I hope she can understand.
I’ll be honest. I would be REALLY upset if I found out my husband was still talking to his ex and wanted to spend time with her, no matter the situation. I agree with @Leaf: Angie has to be your priority.
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I feel like Angie is being a bit selfish here.
I don’t know your history with your ex, but there’s a reason she’s just an ex. Angie shouldn’t worry that anything will happen between you two.
And you can still care for someone after a breakup, so I think she’s being really unfair.
Sure, she might be insecure, but that’s a problem SHE needs to deal with, instead of putting it on you to indulge her.
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@jukebox, first of all, I am very sorry you are being put in this position. But, I am afraid that you have to make a big decision. You have to decide who is more important to you: Your ex or Angie. Bearing in mind that if your ex dies, you will be left alone if you choose your ex.
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I don’t think I would be okay with it if I was in a relationship. As @Happy_H and @Leaf said Angie needs to take priority if you don’t want to risk losing her. Does your ex not have family to lean on?
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I’m sorry to hear that news. Saying that I was on the opposite side of that sort of thing. My ex used to talk to all her old boyfriends and I didn’t like that. It was a big reason why I left because she wouldn’t let me have any friends but she could talk to all her old bf’s. All’s I’m saying is that its a really hard thing but I can understand Angie’s reaction.
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I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope they caught it early and your ex-wife will be okay.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to call her up and tell her how sorry you are and that you’ll be thinking about her, but it sounds like you’re ready to swoop in and be a main support. That’s unrealistic given your current situation being a main support for Angie. I would try to maintain your boundaries, even though it is hard because you care very much about both people.
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yes I’ve decided not to talk to Nancy unless Angie gives me permission…I feel for Nancy but we are only friends…i did want to be a main support but it isn’t in the cards @anon1517417 you give wise advice. thank you all for your support. means a lot.
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Why can’t you and Angie go together to see your ex? My ex’s new wife has no problem with me talking to him whatsoever. And she has no reason to have a problem. He’s not the cheating kind so…
Nancy lives in Arizona…it would be nice to see her before she dies but that also is not in the cards…I just want to help Nancy know she is not alone…she knows…so I feel like I don’t have to talk to her all that often now.
How ‘bout if you and Angie send her a nice card and let that be the end of it. Or not.
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I wonder if it’s different because you guys have kids together. You’re kind of bound to each other as parents.
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now that I’ve had some time to think it over…I am content with just an occasional phone call to my ex wife as time goes on…Angie knows now so I don’t feel so bad…I can’t deny Nancy a phone call once in a while…she cries all the time and is inconsolable…she is deeply loved by her son and her ex husband. the rest of her family treats her badly because she is not wealthy like them…for those who pray please pray for Nancy to make it through her chemo and radiation cancer free.
Idk. I just think he looks at me differently now. I still get mad though about how his wife treats people. He was such a happy go lucky guy b4 her. Even when I call my son I’m careful what I say bc you don’t know what will set her off and I know she yells at my kid but I’m not in the position to do anything about it.
Today when I called Sam he kept asking me the same question over and over. It doesn’t bother me. Kids do that sometimes. Stepmom says,”she’s answered you three times!!!”
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