Hi, it’s me again. I thought I’d open up about my delusion while I still realize it isn’t real (if that makes sense, seen as my psychiatrist is taking me off the only medication that worked, haven’t tried clozapine yet but I’m afraid of drooling more than any other side effects).
I feel harassed and made fun of by everyone, everywhere I go when people cough, sneeze or clear their throats, sometimes if they touch their face… like it’s some sort of secret passcode that everyone knows about. As if I’m underground famous (like I make no money yet everyone knows me, or has heard of me, even though this isn’t true) and everyone wants to join in on making fun of me or harassing me, like there’s a secret online website that has me on it and says what to do in order to make fun of me and everyone is in on it…
As of right now I don’t believe this but I will 99.99% believe it when invega wears off just like I used, I didn’t even know it was a delusion until I started invega. Just curious about what other people have for delusions or if they have any advice or stuff that helped them with their delusions
I’m not sure, maybe because it’s so gross. I really should be more afraid of the white blood cell count they have to check weekly if you’re on clozapine, yet I’m more afraid of the drool
The drooling i get from clozapine only happens at night. I wake up and my pillows wet lol i have to get my blood test every 4 weeks which can be annoying at first but you get used to it.
I was prescribed something to help with the drooling but i can’t remember what it was called i think it doubles up as an anti car sick tablet. It didn’t really work for me so i stopped taking it.
It’s really frowned upon here to feed into others peoples delusions but suffice it to say I have the same erroneous delusions about people coughing or clearing their throat. It doesn’t mean it’s true but people seem to convey their disrespect for me through ill-timed coughs, sneezes or clearing their throat. This delusion comes and goes for me, it can leave for years and them come back.
The feeling that everybody is laughing at me is a strong delusion and difficult to shake. I even told the Human Resources woman at work who visits every Monday from the home office that the soldiers in the army reserve building I work in were being rude and laughing at me. She took it very seriously and told my boss and he called me in for a meeting to discuss it and he suggested that the laughs are innocent and not directed at me. He told me if any of the soldiers disrespect me to tell him directly and the company will talk to the soldiers boss.
I conquered this problem before myself by simply looking at peoples eyes when someone would laugh near me and I could tell by looking they weren’t thinking of me but it’s nice to know I have my company behind me. It’s a weird delusion but seems so real but I think the coughs, sneezes and clearing of throats is random. At least that’s what the majority of people would tell me.
They feel real, but they aren’t, and they can be safely ignored. Realizing this opened the whole world up to me again. Now I just ignore the crap in my head and go about my day.
@shutterbug I wish I could do that, but the delusion is so strong I can’t talk myself out of it. I can try to ignore it, but it makes me super mad, I guess that’s because I was bullied growing up, or just how I am?
I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help with this. It is how I learned this skill. I also had childhood trauma and it did not stop me from learning how to cope with delusions.
Mine is kidnapping. I started memorizing license plate numbers, street names as I walked, etc. I only walked with my barkiest dog to scare off people who I just knew were out to get me. I carried a knife to cut ropes for when I was tied up. The people and cars I would encounter were all neighbors, by the way. Usually, they were just out on walks, too, wanting to enjoy the fresh air and all.
Anyhow, what helped me was talking to my husband and eventually my pdoc. I can (and have) tell my husband absolutely anything, and I’m met with no judgement. Do you have a support system? Someone you can talk to?
@shutterbug What type of CBT, and how do you change the thoughts? (I’ve not been able to find a CBT therapist)
If I just repeatedly tell myself no one is harassing me, I just don’t begin to believe it. I try telling myself there is no secret online website where they all know me from, I start there with the CBT but it’s just so hard to convince myself, but I will keep trying. How did you change the thoughts? What was your process?
First you need to be certain it is a fake cough or fake throat clearing. They could just have allergies. Second if it is fake then it is a good idea to avoid those people. They lack honesty and empathy for others. What I would do is ask them why they are doing it. If they won’t tell you avoid having anything to do with them because they are childish and hurtful types. Be friendly with others and avoid those people if they are fakes. You do not need fake people around you. There are plenty of others who want and may need friends
i think it doubles up as an anti car sick tablet. It didn’t really work for me so i stopped taking it.
