To her dad’s last name. He never helped me with her ever. They met when she was 13. I gave her my maiden name to protect her because I knew he wouldn’t be a part of her life. And he wasn’t. She was 13 and for the first time since her birth I asked him to buy her some winter clothes for school. Nada. He didn’t even buy her a pair of socks.
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why does she want his name if he is such a loser?
my Sister has 3 boys and the dad left when they were young, i thought they should have changed to her name but i guess it doesnt work that way.
That’s a pretty bizzare thing for her to do.
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I did that whilst I was psychotic.
It must have really upset my step dad who I call dad now anyway since 5 years old.
My real dad was a twat as well. He was a drunk, a cheat and topped himself when I was 18 months old. What a dick.
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@daydreamer @everhopeful. I think she just wants to distance herself from my side of the family. Our relationship changed (became difficult) after my son was born and mental illness kicked in for me. My daughter and I rarely speak now. I couldn’t take care of her bc of my MI and when she was 15 moved in with my dad whom she doesn’t like either.
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@Joker @everhopeful @daydreamer. When I asked her why she said that it was part of who she is. I’d tried for years to teach her to be proud of her Hispanic heritage to no avail. She never cared about it before. She didn’t even want a quinceñera (a coming of age party for 15 year old Hispanic girls).
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Oh I’m sorry @Loke
This must hurt
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Hold onto the hope that I - a person who changed a surname back to a biological parent - changed it back after a few months as I realised my real dad actually did nothing for me and it just hurt the people who are there for me
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Thank you @Wave.
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Maybe it will be good for her. She has three half sisters by her dad but the middle sister is married. She did say that that name was part of her. She was also friends with some girls from Panama so maybe she now wants to connect to her Hispanic heritage bc of it.
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I’m sorry she’s doing this. Hopefully her dad steps up to the plate eventually. And hopefully with time she reaches out to you and you can repair your relationship
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She’s talking about moving to Florida when she graduates college. That’s where her dad is. She’s 23. But he’s never helped her that I’m aware of. I’m never on FB but I figure she talks to her dad’s family on there.
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She probably hurts deeply because he wasn’t in her life. Maybe she’s trying to chase a dream of a father she never had. She may decide after moving there that he doesn’t love her and is a deadbeat. Or he may step up and fill that void in her life. I think this is all a self discovery process and that it’s not unhealthy
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