So my father called and was concerned…
Apparently he’d talked to my sister, who’d told him she thinks my friend is a bad friend and she’s worried that I’m letting him mistreat me.
He’s worried that I’m letting people misuse me, and told me that I need to distance myself from my friend and learn to be stronger and put up more boundaries with him.
I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I see why my family is concerned. I just worry that he’ll get mad at me if I start putting up boundaries all of a sudden.
People tend to do that if they’re used to no boundaries.
He’s an alright friend. He does a lot of good things, and we have fun together, but sometimes he gets angry at me and/or throws me out of his apartment, which is what concerns my sister as I’ve called her a few times and asked for money for a cab.
Walking to my place from his takes and hour, and at 2 in the morning it’s just not something I want to do.
Your friend is absolutely horrible to you. Your dad is right. But only you can decide what you’ll put up with. If someone did to me what your friend does to you, I would never speak to them again. I know he has some redeeming qualities. But like, every abuser has some nice qualities. Otherwise, they couldn’t keep preying on people. They put in the minimum effort needed to keep you from running. Your friend doesn’t care about you. He cares about your credit card.
I agree with your dad. This “friend” is a sociopath; I really wish you would just cut him out of your life altogether. You would be better off with no friends, rather than with him, but it’s your choice.
The clue for whether someone cares about you as a person: When someone cares about you, they respect your safety and boundaries 100% of the time. Even when it’s inconvenient. No good friend would ever put you in a dangerous situation. Even people with MI struggles. You have schizophrenia. You know that having MI doesn’t make you hurt people. He hurts you and puts you in danger when you’re no longer convenient for him, then puts in just enough effort that you keep giving him money.
I know he cares about me. When I’m in the hospital, he visits me every day. When I tell him I don’t feel well, he instantly asks me what he can do and if I need help.
I know he’s not good at respecting my boundaries and he sometimes asks me for money, but I do feel like he genuinely likes me.
… Most of the time.
He cares about you when it’s convenient for him. Friends care about you 100% of the time, with no exceptions. He also pushed you into the hospital before when you didn’t need to go, because you were bothering him.
I love you and want you to be treated well by the people in your life. That was just awful. You could have been seriously hurt. He should be no more than an acquaintance, anything else is just unsafe. Never put your safety in his hands again.