She said I was a burden and was killing her and dad.
Thing is they are right. I am a burden on everyone.
She said why can’t I not be a burden like my sisters.
You’re not killing anyone with your illness, and don’t let someone tell you otherwise.
You can’t help having it, and it’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault that you have an illness @Jimbob. Any illness, whether physical or mental, can be a burden on the person who has the illness and perhaps to a lesser extent on those who care about them.
That was a cruel thing for your mother to say.
If it’s hard for her to manage, that’s her responsibility, not yours. She needs to figure out how to better manage her feelings without blaming you for something you can’t control.
Mental health issues can take a toll on both the one with it and the ones who are around it.
The goal is for the one with the mental health problem to work hard at improving.
And the ones around it need to work on how to not absorb someone else’s problems yet still support them if they can.
She’s just tired, and she’s only human. I bet she didn’t mean it. She shouldn’t have said that to you at all. I hope she apologizes.
This post made me angry and sad at the same time.
My son had paranoid sz and he was a burden to me too. The thing is that I was sick too with sza and his illness made my illness even worse. His treatment team even acknowledged that. It was truly a hopeless situation. I felt that I had no choice but to put my son into a group home for my own sanity’s sake. I simply could not go on with my son living with me alone. A lot of times, I feel like it was that decision that I made to put him in a group home, is the reason why he killed himself. He always said he hated that group home. I feel so guilty today. I truly do.
Why have a child with schizophrenia if you can’t take care of him?
I had him when I was 20 years old. I didn’t even suspect I had sza until I was 23 years old. And I wasn’t even officially diagnosed until I was 34. Bad luck!
That’s quite sad I am sorry.
Aw, you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. You did what you had to do to protect yourself, and it sounds like you did what you thought was best for him. He made a choice to do what he did, and you didn’t make that choice for him.
Sometimes people can drag each other down, and they’ll need some space apart.
You can’t help being sick, and it’s not your fault he was either.
Sad family say’s things like that, I don’t talk to my family, have not since i was 18, there was no love in my family, so hard for me to advise anyone on how to handle things. Hope you can work it out with them though
Those words are bloody horrific. Those are the signs of a dysfunctional family. Your mother seems to lack compassion and empathy. She has no comprehension of your illness and blames you for being unintentionally ill. This is inherently wrong.
I don’t know what she was going through and why you have become so tiresome to those who are not ill, but there is no excuse for those harsh unfeeling words. Surely her value as a person you respected has changed? How can you value the word of someone when it is so hurtful?
There is a doctor who cruelly and sadistically hurt some monkeys to prove the value of maternal love. this Dr.Harlow proved that even an electrocuted and painful ‘mother’ was better than nothing and that the baby monkey returned to it even when it meant pain, so I know that it is virtually impossible to dismiss and disown the worth of a mother, but perhaps knowing this can comfort you.
When you know that comfort and pain is still inherent as a comfort instead of nothing then you can start to understand your inner core and needs and that you can diminish it.
You are of value @jimbob. you are not a burden to the world. you exist and deserve to. You are clever and witty and are a decent human being whether you are ill or not. Your self worth shouldn’t be based on a woman who has no compassion or empathy for your position. She owes you, not the other way around.
Be at peace and rest well jimbob. Careless words matter not.
I am sorry Jimbob. I send you lots of friendship and Blessings. Take care
I’m sorry that your mom thinks that way.
Jimbob, I love you. I say these words to you, because I cannot say them to my son today. I am in tears as I type this. I wish for you to find all the love and happiness in life that life will allow. Follow God in life, and I promise that you will find this love that you seek. I wish you all the best. Sincerely, Gina L.
Sometimes people say things out of anger or frustration. It has been mentioned, remember it is not your fault you have an illness. Labratmat made an excellent point, you are not a burden to the world. I like your sense of humor and find you to be a thoughtful poster, I hope you feel better soon. This may not have been the life we chose, but it it still worth living.