Schizophrenia.com

Motivational paralysis

#1

so i’m sitting here in my flea pit of a room and i want to tidy it so badly but it’s like i’m paralysed against my will and can’t do it. not that i can’t move, i can make myself coffee and roll cigarettes, i can feed the dogs and let them out but just over the past two weeks i’ve let things slide in the house and the voices are more prevalent. it’s ok. i don’t believe them so i know i’m not losing my marbles, i’m just going downhill a little. can anyone relate? i’m not the tidyest person at the best of times but i don’t usually let my room get in such a state.

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#2

I get to that point. I do have help. I will get to the point where it feels so bad, I don’t know where to begin and it just feels like the task is too big. I’ve been working on this for about a year now. I’ll try and pick up one thing an hour for the day it kills me.

I have been very motivated by guilt and paranoia as well. When I used to let this go because my kid sister would then come in and clean the room from top to bottom all weekend and I sort of hate that because she’s my sister, not my maid, and I was always afraid of what she was uncovering in there… So in order to avoid this, I try and just do one thing. Just socks this hour. Or just hang up the one coat this hour. It helps knock the pile down little by little.

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#3

i’ve just cleared the floor and changed my bed :smiley: just having a ■■■ break, then i’m going to hoover. i think it’s so bad because i’m due on too. maybe i just needed to vent. tomorrow i need to sweep and bleach all the floors and sides in the house, also sort out my cabinets in my room as they’re piled high with books and junk. need a bookcase. maybe i’ll take a trip to the dump and c if i can pick one up for a pittance. thanks for noticing i was struggling :smile:

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