After a bunch of crazy years… I got mental illness and hit rock bottom.
My partner is an awesome guy and we love each other, he’s very successful and devoted to me.
I separated from him a bunch of times and I know next time I have a relapse, we might go on our separate ways.
we never fell in love… we were friends and he liked me more. I thought he’s successful, good awesome guy, loves me so why not?! we have our differences but we get along way and I’m a very loving person.
Now we have our own place… I have all that I need and more… my illness is managed well, and I can just focus on making my life even better and getting rid of the negative symptoms… I listen to music, talk to my friends… have fun… I will decorate my office soon.
Just some part of me, wants to leave it all behind and move to nowhere and fall in love… and start from zero all over again. Maybe it’s wanderlust or I don’t know really… but I love challenges and doing everything on my own. I experienced extreme high from psychosis and grandiose so I know what happiness is.
sometimes it’s good to just appreciate what you have and bloom where you are planted… with any resource you have.
Very interesting post. I’m not built to be with someone I don’t love. Comfort alone doesn’t cut it for me. I’d rather be alone. What happens if your partner becomes ill and loses his income?
You realise marriage is the next step you’ll be taking, so think carefully.
i would do anything for him… I’m a very grateful person and loving… I do love him but it’s a different kinda love. I paid the 5% down payment… I bought all the furniture and appliances… I bought and did most of it on my own… we are equal in our relationship. he does something… I do something in return… but there’s just something missing… something is not right and after all these years I realize maybe it’s my upbringing and mental illness. Maybe it’s my character…
passion fades and stuff… but I wanna fall in crazy in love… live in different places on earth… travel everywhere… make a lot of friends… I don’t want family and kids. God cursed me with a mental illness so I get tied down and seek comfort… but I’ve been so lucky in my life and met the right people… If I didn’t have a mental illness, my life would be different.
NOT because I don’t love him, I love him but we are two different people with different mentalities…
I don’t know… it’s complicated… maybe I’m dependant on him emotionally… I don’t have anybody else… I have a lot of friends though… life is compromise… I think he feels exactly the same way about me. the way we met and our life turned out… we’ve both been thru a lot.
Its really something you have to figure out for yourself. After all, you are still only 27.
It’s not hard to find a guy with whom you gonna party and live a wild life.
But believe me its pretty hard to find a caring guy with whom you’ll feel loved and secured.
That’s just my opinion though.
Of course you might be one of those strange women who don’t even need a guy to have a fulfilling life and feel great.
i think like that at times too, feels like im just getting my life is getting back on track
but a lot of times it feels like 1 step forward 2 steps back or 2 steps forward 1 step back.
sometimes i feel being single is an easier life for me. less responsibility.
i like relationships but also am a bit indifferent to it as well.
i definitely flip flop with it a lot , but i think thats due to my bipolar mood aspect, it just twists my thinking a lot.
its like sometimes i like affection, other times i dont, sometimes im annoyed by everything and other times im invincible and nothing bugs me.
but yeah i think this illness takes a toll on us relationship wise. and for the one were dating.
ive also always been a very independant person. i dont really like to depend on others. although i should a bit as it makes life a bit smoother.
